Relay House, Wed May 15th (1861)

My very dear wife.

I had not a moment in which to write yesterday as we received orders to move and I was obliged to pack all my medicines, arrange for my sick and pack my own things. The regiment left about 9. and I followed with the sick at 2:30. I sent a dispatch to the office but we never know what will be allowed to pass and what will be retained. Oh! this unnatural war. severing all the ties of life. and for what purpose to gratify the mad ambition of a few men for this I cannot but think has been the sole cause of this fraternal strife. We arrived here about 4 and after getting a lunch proceeded to the camp situated on a side hill facing the RR and about an eighth of a mile from the station. The Patapsco river here flows through a deep gorge. spanned by a fine stone viaduct for the protection of which the troops are stationed here. The country around is delightful. The view from our camp embraces a wide sweep of rolling farming lands and well wooded hills. We have no tents as yet and the men sleep on the grass. wrapped in their blankets. Merritt, Sa[u]nderson, Tapley and I built a booth by putting up two supports with a cross piece. and then putting on fence rails. one end of which rested on the cross bar and the other on the ground. This roof we covered with branches of trees. and then we hung our blankets round the three sides and thus had a very comfortable shelter. I have a rubber cloth which I spread on the ground and then wrapping myself in my overcoat and blanket rested warm. and comfortably. I did not sleep much. The situation was too novel. It was the first time I ever camped out so. Our roof was covered with apple tree boughs in full bloom. You could look through the boughs and see the sky and stars overhead. I could not help wondering where you were and whether you was thinking of me – no not thinking of me. for that I know you do all the time – but whether you was lying awake anxious about my safety. crying yourself sick because you knew we were gone and immagining for us all sorts of perils and hardships. God shield you my darling from undue anxiety. Your lot is harder than mine. I know that you are at home and safe from all but the ordinary chances of sickness. while you can never be sure where I am, or what may be my surroundings. Under these circumstances, I know that immagination will work, and that your sensitive nature suffers acutely. If this sorrow was from some other cause, and I could be with you hold you in my arms and kiss away your tears I could comfort you but I can only leave you now in the hands of that Christ who has promised to bear the burdens of all those weary and heavy laden ones, who vest their cares on him. We are in no danger here. Maryland if not wholly as heart loyal has been overawed and is now furnishing her quota of troops for the defense of the national flag. Gen Butler with the 6th Mass. is in Baltimore and probably a part of our regiment will go there. If they go I shall probably remain here at the camp with those who are left. We have a delightful location and if our tents arrive today as expected, we shall be very comfortable. I suppose by this time you are in Danvers. Do enjoy yourself, and get up your health and strength so as to have a rosy face to show me when I get back. You must give a great deal of love to all the good brothers and sisters there. Tell Ira that Mr. Bailey presented his letter but I regret not to have had an opportunity to call upon him at his quarters. If it is in my power to do anything for him in any way, I shall be glad to do it. but our regiments are separated and we may not meet during the term of service. God bless you my precious one, watch over you, comfort you, guide you in every doubt, aid you in all your trials, is the prayer of your devoted husband who loves you and kisses you

Bowman

 

 

Relay House Camp

May 16th (1861)

My darling wife

My wish is at last accomplished and we are comfortably established in camp. Our equipage came yesterday afternoon and we soon had the tent up and found ourselves comfortably housed. Or rather tented at last. Our camp is pitched on the top of the hill on whose side we were quartered yesterday. The view is superb. Our camp is on a level portion on the top of the hill. The parade ground is in front. Then the tents for the companies are pitched in rows with streets between. In the rear is the Colonels tent and behind all are my quarters on one hill and the quartermaster with all the stores on the other. I have a fine large tent for Tapley and myself and in the rear two tents placed side by side for the hospital. I was talking with some of the officers last night, and we all agreed that if we could only have our wives and babies here we could find no pleasanter place to spend a month or two. That is all my thought. If you could only be here and I could know just where you were and be able to comfort you and do for you I should be happy.

We are all well. Several of the men have had sore throats but generally all are well. I was never better in my life. It is rather hard for anyone as particular as I am to have to sleep night after night with my clothes on but these are minor inconveniences and while I feel well and sleep well I get on nicely. You ask why I don't write for the paper. If you could live here one day you would wonder how you get your letters. We have lived in a perfect Babel ever since we left home. Everyone is new to the business, and there are ten thousand questions to be asked. Everyone runs to me at all times of the day and evening. There are interruptions but the day slips by and evening comes after and passes before I have time to write a word. I have written several letters to you after 11 at night. I hope now to have more time. I have several letters to answer that ought to have been attended to since. You must excuse me to all who complain about neglect. I have not received my letter for today yet but expect it by the mail this afternoon. You must direct all my letters just as you have the others to Washington. They know there just where we are and forward our letters daily. God bless you my precious one and keep you always in his love and care. Love to all. Kisses for baby and the whole heart of

Your Bowman

 

 

Camp Essex May 17th (1861)

My precious wife.

Yesterday after my letter was sent. I went down to the depot and while glancing my Eye over a pile of baggage saw a box directed to me. It had been put by mistake with some boxes for the 8th of NY who are stationed here with us. I took immediate possession of it and had it carried to camp. Oh the pleasure of opening it and taking out one thing after another which you had packed for me. I could hear Every word you said and read Every thought while arranging them for me. The daguerreotypes were of course the first thing sought. I was disappointed at first with your likeness. Oh! what a sad face said I! but the more I look at it the better I like it. That of the baby is perfection itself. I could almost hear him crow. You may be sure that they are carried in my bosom next [to] my heart. I am glad you like the pictures I sent home. I picked out the one I thought the best and I thought it an Excellent likeness. I have several more and will send some more home. I want to save a few to Exchange with others. What trouble have you had at home? You must write me Everything for if you only hint at things of an unpleasant nature without telling me it is worse for me than if I knew the whole and besides I cannot comfort you in trouble of which I have no word. Do write me Everything that troubles you. I can at least pray for you. if I cannot hold you in my arms and kiss you. Last night Col Hinks was Elected to the command of the regiment. Elwell was chosen L. Col. and Ben Perley PooreMajor.[56] We have now a first rate list of officers and things will soon be in good condition. We are now much more comfortable than at any time since leaving home. that we have nothing of which to complain. I cant give you any hint of our future movements. We may remain here or go to Annapolis or to Fortress Munroe. If we are likely to remain in one place for any length of time where it will be possible for us to have our wives with us I think the Col will send for Mrs H. If so I think I shall send for you to come on with her. Dont place too much dependence on this however. for it may be impossible for us to make such an arrangement. If it can be done you may be sure I shall do it. I must close in a hurry as the boy is just starting with the mail. God bless and keep you and watch over you at all times is the Earnest prayer of your devoted husband

Bowman

 

 

Washington May 18th (1861)

My darling wife,

You will doubtless be surprised to receive a letter with this address supposing me all the time to be at the Relay House. The truth is I am only here for the day, having come up to the city on a little business connected with my duties. I received your letter of the 17th just as I was stepping into the cart. Your letters all come regularly and I suppose you receive mine every day. You have been counting words have you! If you attack me in that way I shall be compelled to retort by some imprudent remarks on the score of quality. Only by way of joke however for every word you send is dear to me. Your letters light up the whole day for me. I have nothing in the way of news to send you. All are well and everything at the camp goes on regularly.  Occasionally a timid or over zealous sentinel fires at a cow or stone and turns out the whole camp but there can be no real cause of alarm as there is no enemy in force enough to attack us within many miles. You may rely on it that if there is any fighting we shall be compelled to go after it. It will not come to us. I wrote to Lucilla day before yesterday and now that you are gone shall try to write home to Lynn as often as possible but never to the neglect of your daily letter. That is my first duty as well as pleasure and let them complain who will shall not be neglected. I have directed all my letters since the 13th to Danvers Plains. I suppose you went there yesterday. You must give my love to everyone who knows me there. Remember me especially to Mrs. Black. These are sad days for her. Mrs. Merritt was very much pleased that you called on her and wrote in a very flattering way of you to her husband. He seemed very much gratified also at your attention.  These kindnesses are never forgotten and in these times especially we may make for ourselves friends for life by simply doing as we would be done by.  God guide us both in the right way. Bless you my darling for all your love. I love you more than I can tell and long for the day when I can hold you in my arms either here or in our own home. Excuse this scrawl as I write in a great hurry. It will at least assure you that you are ever in the heart of your husband.

Bowman

 

 

At Mary's. Sat. May 18th (1861)

My own dear husband.

Much to my delight I received a letter from you yesterday. I was afraid that in making the change, you would have So much to do that you would not be able to write. But Alonzo came for Baby and me, bring[ing] the letter with him.[57] I did not write last night as usual. I was So tired from the Extra labor of getting ready to come and from the riding over, and then Seeing So many people after I got here. I have just waked up from a little nap here on the lounge and feel very much better – feel nicely.

Baby is taking a lunch, but behaves as if he would much rather take the pen and write to Papa.

I did indeed feel very anxious when I learned that you were to go to the Relay House. It Seemed more like going into actual Service. I was afraid that the Regt. would be attacked and then the wicked attempts to poison wh have been made at that place. I did and do Suffer very much darling. I cannot help feel very anxious, and at times I feel that I can bear the Separation no longer, that I will ask you to come home, but I know how unpleasant it would be for you to leave under the circumstances – that you went from a Sense of duty and I feel that I am wrong.

Your letters are So, So precious – what could I do without them, and then I have the baby. I feel Sometimes that I must have you with me to take Some of the responsibility. I feel So incompetent in Every way, but Still he is a great comfort. I only wish that you could share it with me, and then I Should be happy. I do live more in the future, but oh, thepainfulpresent.

I am So glad to learn by the morning paper that Hinks is chosen Col. It will add So much to your happiness. I love his wife very much and pity her too. She mourns the absence of her husband very much. She Says She Sometimes feels (although not often nor long at a time) that She does not care how it is Settled – wh Side is victorious, provided it can be Settled up and let her husband come home. It is indeed a wicked war. When I See how much Suffering is caused, in Every [home], not only to those who go, but to those who remain, I feel almost impatient and rebellious. Business men both in Lynn and Danvers look very blue, Danvers people particularly. I have been trying to get Ira to Say that he will go to Washington, but he has not yet Said Yes – although I hope that he will….

Alonzo is to take this letter to the Office and it [is] time that he Should go, So that I must Stop. I wish, oh how I wish that I could write you my heart's love. Oh Bowman if you could only be here for a few minutes, if I could See you for a few minutes, if I could See you and kiss you or if I could only go to you, and be folded in your arms, do Something for your comfort and happiness, love, love you in your arms how happy I Should be, but I can See no hope as yet for it at present. Oh may God Ever guide and guard you, place his Everlasting arms round and about you is the prayer of your true and loving wife.

Hannah

Baby Sends millions of kisses, although he is Sound asleep.

Fanny gave me this peppermint last Sabbath Saying give it to Bow'n. So here it is but I am afraid that fat Uncle Sam may Sit upon it rather heavily.

 

 

Camp Essex May 19th (1861)

My dear wife.

This is Sunday. but not much like the day at home. Everything is quiet in the camp but daily duty goes on as usual. The duties of a camp must be performed with the same regularity as those on board ship. All is quiet this morning but at 1. we have drill and at 3 service. I don't think much of our chaplain. He has all the disagreeable qualities of a Methodist and very little of their sociability. He is free enough with the officers but does not mingle with the men and exert that influence that he might. There can be no better opportunity for the right sort of man to do good than amidst life in a camp. I have wished a thousand times that we had a genial man like Mr Sewall who would assimilate himself to our mode of life and say the right word in the right place as he always can. I had a very pleasant day at Washington yesterday. finished up all my business satisfactorily and reached the camp again about 8. It was quite cold last night but I slept very comfortably. Let me [tell]you how I sleep. In one end of the tent we have a pile of straw about a foot deep over this we spread a blanket. then a rubber cloth. then farm blankets. I take off coat pants and vest put on a pair of those thick winter drawers. wrap myself up in my overcoat and crawl in under the blankets and sleep without a dream. We take our meals picnic fashion in the open air. The cooking is all done in the open air also. We have just got comfortable situated but I expect that we shall move in a day or so probably to Fortress Monroe. Every one says that this is a delightful place. … I have just learned that the boy is going with the mails two hours sooner than common so I must close abruptly. Love Love Love to all and kisses for the little one from your true and loving husband

Bowman

 

 

Sunday Eve. May 19th (1861)

My darling Bowman,

It is one of those calm peaceful Sabbath Evenings, w'h May often gives to us. I am Sitting at the window in Mary's Sleeping – overlooking the garden (the garden w'h used to have the paths). Baby is asleep in bed, and if you were only here oh I could be So happy, but you are far away, perhaps Suffering, while I am here, mourning your absence. Oh Bowman when will the time come for your return.

This morning I went to church – heard Mr. Hatcher preach to the Soldiers. His text was in 1st Cor. 16th Ch. 13th v. – It was a good, practical discourse. Just what Soldiers need – what we all need. He Spoke of the peculiar temptations of Soldier life. They were far away from the restraints of home, and although he did not doubt for a moment their bravery in battle, he hoped that they would not consider him weak or distrustful if he feared for them in times of temptation.

He Spoke to them long and Earnestly of the temptation to intemperance. Said that there would be the temptation to drink, of both fatigue and Ease. After a long and toilsome march, they could Easily persuade themselves that they needed, actually needed the Stimulus of liquor, and then again there would be times when for days there would be nothing to do, when time would hang heavily, and then they needed to watch, and be Strong. Of profanity, obscenity, and kindred Sins he Spoke with a great deal of feeling. Warned them of imprudence in regard to health. Their lives were precious, particularly now in the time of their country's peril. It was disloyal to be imprudent etc etc. He closed by Entreating them to take Christ as their leader, and captain.

This afternoon M. Putnam the Universalist minister, addressed them. I did not go for I felt that I could bear no more. I Suffered So much this morning from trying to restrain my feelings, that I knew that if I went again I must break down. I felt that it was better for me to Stay at home with Baby. Alonzo Stayed with me, and took almost the Entire care of him. There are two companies here in Danvers. It was a novel Sight to See the great part of the pews in the body of the house filled with Soldiers, in uniform, aisles & Entry crowded with people, and then too the drum and fife. Oh it was Sad, Sad, Sad! All this to put down a rebellion w'h Mr. F. Said for ignoble treachery & base ingratitude was unparalleled in history.

Mon morning, May 20th

… I did not Sleep at all in the day time, but M. Says that it is just what I need, and that I Shall grow fleshy if I keep on. So, I Shall Sleep all I can. I think you need not be troubled about my having no girl, for I have two girls and a boy now, besides M. I hardly take the baby at all, am afraid he'll forget his Mama. I am Sorry that I cannot be at home this morning to help pack the Ex. bundle. You will See that I have overcome my prejudices Enough to Send you a box of cigars, but I do Sincerely hope that it will, taken with the other boxes of medicine, work a permanent cure. …

Calvin is going, So I must Stop. I got no letter from you on Sat. but I hope that I Shall receive one today. Your precious, precious letters. I think that I could repeat Some of them verbatim, I have read them over So many times. Sabbath days are So long without a letter from you. Mary Says give my best love to Bowman. All Send a great deal of love. Alice Says “Tell him that Baby is very patriotic, he has got on red white and blue.” She and Alonzo have tied up his Sleeves with a red ribbon on one Side and blue on the other. Oh Bowman, my own dear husband. I love love love you and kiss you a thousand times. God Ever bless and keep you.

 

 

Camp Essex May 20th (1861)

My very dear wife,

This is a dismal day.  It commenced raining last night about 9 and poured all night. I slept perfectly warm and dry however as the tent sheds rain perfectly and we have trenches dug around the outside to carry off the water that falls. The outside is dismal as I have said this morning but inside my house for the present is quite cheerful. Tapley is lying on the bed in one end reading a paper. We have a large box for a table with trunks for seats. Sa[u]nderson is writing to his wife on one side and I to mine on the other.  Just there is the rub. If in place of this pen talking I had you on my trunk with me with my arms around you and the little one with us my tent would be a palace. I suppose this is our last day here as we are under marching orders to proceed to Fortress Monroe and shall probably leave for Annapolis tomorrow, where the Mass troops will be concentrated and all leave for the fort under Gen. Butler. Where we shall go from there is a matter of uncertainty. I am afraid that my plan for having you with me will prove unavailing. But we will hope for the best. At any rate have your things so that you can come if it is possible and let us at least hope that we may be able to meet. The hope will strengthen us. 

I spent a very pleasant evening last night with the family of Mr. Donalson a wealthy gent who lives in the rear of our camp. There was quite a family of young ladies. You can hardly realize what a luxury it was after the life we have led for the past month to spend an hour in the quiet of the family circle. Oh what a joy it will be when I can feel your arms around me and know that I am with my loved ones once more. God bless you and keep you always and give you strength to bear the pain of this separation, and in his own good time united us to part never again. You have spoken in several of your last letters of my not answering your questions and of not saying anything about sending my letters to Danvers. I have received all your letters and supposed I had answered all your questions but I will look all the letters over again and answer all that I have not already. I have sent all your letters to Danvers on and since the 14th and shall do so till you write me that you are to return to Lynn. God bless you my own true wife, comfort you and so fill you with his peace that you may bear the pain of this trouble.  I love you dearly and all my prayer is for your happiness. I love you and kiss you and the baby a thousand times.

Bowman

 

 

Camp Essex, St. Dennis Md

May 21st (1861)

My darling

This is a bright clear morning after the rain. Every thing looks fresh and green. The water that fell yesterday has all drained off and the warm sun has dried up everything. I have just returned from the Relay House. where I have two patients. While there I received yours of Saturday the 18th the first from Danvers. I am glad to know that you are there for I am confident that you will be able to rest and at least be free from some of the causes of anxiety which have made your last month so anxious. Do write me fully what is the grievance which they think they have to complain of in my dear wifes conduct. I was called up this morning about 3 to amputate a mans finger. He was on guard and very carelessly placed his finger on the muzzle of the gun which by some movement of his foot was discharged. It was rather awkward work as the only light I had was from one small candle and a lantern. but I find on examining my work this morning that it was very well done. It is very remarkable considering all the circumstances of the case that we have had so few accidents and so little sickness. We have been wonderfully preserved and let us pray the good God to still preserve and defend us from harm. I am sorry that any report of attempted poisoning here has got into the papers. Even if true it should have been suppressed as only causing additional anxiety where God knows there is sufficient already. but the truth is that in my opinion. there was no ground for the report. Dr Smith I should judge is a man who would like the eclat attending the discovery of such an attempt. and perhaps was too ready to find what his imagination suggested. The truth is the man had been very intemperate had eaten pickles + in large quantities and had lain down and slept on the ground after being on guard all night. which brought on acute inflammation of the spinal cord with tetanus symptoms. This is my opinion of the case. but it would make trouble if I should express it so you had better not mention it to any one except Dr Perley. Fannies pepermint arrived safely with the exception of one fracture and was immediately eaten. I notice that you direct your letters 8th Reg MVM. You must write out the Mass as there are regiments now from Maine + Mich, and unless the direction is written in full, the letters will miss. There has been no trouble thus far but I want to guard against mistakes. We do not leave here today as I expected but shall very soon tomorrow or next day. …

Good bye for to day my darling. God bless you and have you ever in his keeping. Kiss the baby a thousand times for me. Love to all and the constant prayer for your happiness of your devoted husband

Bowman

 

 

Lynn May 21st (1861)

My dearest Son,

Your welcome note to Lucilla was duly received, and will be soon answered by her. I thought I would write a few lines. We see by the paper tonight that the Mass. troops are to go to Fort Munroe soon. We no sooner please ourselves with the thought that you are comfortably located than the next news is that you are to remove. Well this is camp life! I know we ought to be prepared for it. Sometimes I think how could we let you go? Then I despise my selfishness and feel that we ought to be willing to bear our full share in this righteous cause. I am sure you have a full share of revolutionary blood in your veins. No more of that. We shall feel in duty bound to keep you posted on Lynn affairs while Hannah is away. …

Duty must now be my watchword. I intend to devote much of my leisure this Summer to carrying Hannah and Lucilla and the baby to rides, if the old horse will only enter into my plans. I do not intend to interfere in the least with Hannah's making a good visit to her friends, but shall be thankful when it is over. as I have filled up my paper I can only say once more God bless and protect my son.

Mother

 

 

Camp Essex Md

May 22d (1861)

My dear wife,

Another of your precious letters has just arrived and written in excellent spirits too. It does me good always to receive a good cheery letter.  My only cause of anxiety is removed when I know that you are comfortable and in comparatively good spirits. I am so glad that you are in Danvers for I know that you will have a chance to rest body and mind. Your good sisters will suffer nothing to trouble you and the many hands to tend the baby will make it light work for you. I know you need this rest for I can see by your picture that you have grown thin. Do take care of yourself darling. and let other willing ones bear what they can of your burdens. For what you must bear alone I pray the good God to give you daily strength.

We organized our mess yesterday. The staff have a separate table.  We have two men for cooks and a gentleman of color rejoicing in the patriarchal name of Samuel to make beds, black boots, run of errands etc.  Goodrich the Colonels orderly buys all the food and arranges the meals.  The expense is equally divided among the officers. We are thus sure of our meals regularly. The rumor this mng is that we are not to leave for a week or so. So we live you see with everything packed for a start. and not knowing what a day may bring. I see by the papers that arrangements have been made for regular communication with Fortress Munroe so that if we go there you will hear regularly from me. I wrote you yesterday what disposition I had made of my pictures. If you think of anyone whom I have neglected please let me know as I have one more that I can send home. You speak in your letter of packing my box Monday. Was it sent that day? Isaac had better drop me a line when he sends anything and then I can be on the lookout for it. He telegraphed when the last was sent but I did not hear of it till after the box was received. I have just returned from dinner and dinner consisted of a chowder made with oysters in place of clams. with a dessert of bread and radishes. served on tin plates. All our table service is tin, plain but serviceable – I think if you could see me now you would prefer that I should tarry in some Jerico till my hair was grown. I went to a barber in Washington to have my hair cut. I think I must have gone to sleep for he cut off every hair and trimmed my whiskers. till my face looks as thin as a knife blade. However looks count for very little here. It is comfortable and saves trouble in the morning. I am glad my pictures were taken before this was done. Goodbye for today darling. May God bless you and keep you always.  I love you and bless you a thousand times. Hug the baby for me and give love to all. I love you. 

Bowman

 

 

Camp Essex. Md.

May 22d (1861)

My darling wife.

This camp life is a perfect Cosmos, lacking only what constitutes according to the old record its woe and according to our Expression its perfection. women. My tent fronts one of the main streets of the camp and I can see all that takes place. Since supper, the camp has been alive with fun. It is a beautiful moonlight night and Every one is out and the spirit of fun pervades the camp. First a squad of men came by Escorting an Elephant made of shawls, and shouting A prize! A prize!! Every [one] rushed out to see the show and Each catching the joke, straightened up against the tent pole as if he had only come out to see what the prospect was for fair weather. Next a file of men creeping on all fours winds around among the tents fractioning the trail marching on an Indian war path, moving swiftly forward for a few paces, then lying flat on their faces, perfectly still for a few moments, and then creeping on upon their hands and knees. The Chaplain is having a lone feast in his tent which adjoins mine and a large company in front are singing the “Red White & Blue” So it goes. All sorts mingled together, and Each trying in his own way to pass the time and hasten the good day of return. – Thursday May 23d Still here, waiting orders. Your letter has just arrived in which you Explain the cause of the feeling at home. I suspected as much. Mother writes that she don't care for herself but Lucilla is so lonesome that I ought to remember and write to her. and Lucilla says the same thing varying the name. This is unreasonable. I have written to you regularly. They heard from me Every day. Now that you are gone I shall write once or twice a week as I have opportunity. I have done the best I could, and my only regret about it is that you have had any suffering on this account. Oh my dear one if I could have you with me always know Every sorrow and bear them myself! By nature I am better fitted to bear sorrow than you and I know if I could only fold you in my arms I could comfort you and make you happy. I love the task. I know your life has been in many respects a sad one but I can say that I never knew what real happiness was till we were married, till you nestled into my arms and gave up your happiness into my keeping. It is a holy and precious trust. God give me strength to be worthy of it and bear it well. Oh, I love you my own true wife. If I could with honor I would be with you but without a life long disgrace I could not leave my post. God grant us both strength to bear the pain of this separation and may our lives mingle once more holier and better for this parting never to be disunited more in this world or in the unknown next. I love you love you and pray always for you and our precious charge. God in mercy bless you is the prayer of your

Bowman

 

 

Wed May 22nd (1861)

My darling Bowman,

Imagine me Sitting in one of the arm-chairs, in the Sitting room at “Pa Pope's,” Mother, Mary & Asenath talking and laughing and talking and I trying to write to my dear husband. This is “lection day” and just Such a day as Election day often was when I was a child had an invitation to a party, and wanted to wear light dresses and white cotton Stockings. Cold and disagreeable. If I was a child I Shall probably Spend most of the forenoon Standing at the window or door watching the clouds, to know the prospect for being “dressed up” in the afternoon. As it is I am Sitting here feeling quite like an old lady, very much older than when you were at home. I think that if you want to See me with one brown hair that you had better leave immediately. I wish that I could know where you are this morning, whether you are well and happy. I received no letter from you yesterday and the time is So long. When I must wait two nights, I feel hungry, – and nothing will Satisfy me but one of your letters to devour.

Baby is Sleeping Sweetly. It Seems So hard that you cannot be with him, when he grows so interesting Every day. He is getting very wild. Aunt Sarah Says with one of her queer looks “It is very Strange that he Should be a little “wide awake”. Mother is very pleasant indeed, but has given up going to Boston, the weather was So unpleasant yesterday. I am afraid that we are to have our May-meeting Storm. I Shall be very Sorry for I wanted to live outdoors with the baby while I Staid here. Oh Bowman if you could only be here, and we could travel about in these fields and woods for a few weeks, how much we might Enjoy, but Such is not life! We must take the bitter with the Sweet. God knows what is best for us.

Tomorrow, as you Say, one month of your Stay is over. It does not Seem possible that you have been gone but a month and a half. It Seems like years, long years. The two months to come Stretch away beyond my imagination. Oh Bowman I do hope and trust that when we are again united, that God will grant that we may never again be Separated. Oh it is hard, when life at the longest is So Short that loved and loving ones must be Separated. James is going by the office and if I close in a minute can Send. God bless you my own darling husband. Oh Bowman, when Shall I See you._ I love love love you and kiss you. Baby is well and Sends thousands of kisses to his dear papa. Your loving and true wife     Camp Essex Md, Friday May 24th (1861) My dear wife, Your letter of the 22nd was received this morning. Though short it was sweet showing that you was well and that all was going well with you.  We have had stirring news to break the quiet of the camp this morning. Col Ellsworth of the Zouaves was shot last night in Alexandria.[59]Our flag hangs at half mast and we are ordered to be ready to march at a moment's warning. It seems hard to believe that an officer could be shot down but such is southern honor of which the attack on Sumner was a fair sample. This will infuriate his men so that not a stone of Alexandria will be left if they get a chance to attack it. It is acts like these of pure vandalism which I fear will protract and embitter the war. I do not think from all I hear that we shall be called to leave here just at present. There is a petition in circulation among the residents here to have the 6th + 8th retained here during their term of service. The rights of outsiders have been carefully respected by the men and they perhaps fear that other men might take our places who would cause them much trouble. It would be a delightful place to spend our time in but some of our ambitious officers would perhaps chafe at such a quiet life. Now that Washington is considered safe a crowd of people are flocking there. Among others Wilson & Alley.[60] There is a good deal of feeling among the Mass. men here that all our representatives left Wash. the moment there was any danger there and are so eager now to volunteer when a larger army has been organized and all immediate personal danger is past. I have never felt the least anxiety for myself and pray God daily that you may be preserved from all anxiety on my account.  Your letters come regularly every morning. They are such a treat and comfort to me. God watch over you and keep you my precious wife. Ben Moore passed through here yesterday on his way to Washington. He did not stop but left word that he should return Saturday (tomorrow.) I presume he will spend Sunday with us. It is as hot here now as in the middle of June with us but by doing our work mornings and evenings, and resting or sleeping in the middle of the day we keep very comfortable. By the time this letter reaches you one month of our separation will be almost gone. Have faith and courage my dear one and the time will speedily come that shall restore us to each other's arms. How is the little one? Does he have plenty of sun and air! God bless you both and grant that all that life brings may make us better and happier at last. I love you and kiss you. Bowman     Fri Evening May 24th (1861) My Ever dear husband,– I received your letter of the 21st this morning, – was So glad to hear that you are Still well. You will have learned before this by my letter of the 21st what has troubled me So much. There is very little to write, but you know how wearing is this constant Exhibition of feeling, but I think there will not be anything more of the kind. So no more. Do not let it trouble you in the least. Pray do not. George brought me the copy of a telegram received at the Lynn office, and the Evening paper confirms the Sad news of the assassination of Ellsworth. Oh what a Shocking Story. If this is to be their mode of warfare, what can we Expect. It Seems to me that they have a great deal to fear from the revengeful feeling Excited in that one company of Zouaves. Oh when or where will be the End of this wicked rebellion. Oh the misery – misery of Every form w'h this has caused and will cause. Oh if I could only know how and where you are tonight, but God's arms are around and about you. Oh for more faith and trust in an Almighty arm. Oh Bowman my own darling husband how long must this last. Oh for one loving kiss! – one tender Embrace. May God comfort and bless you, darling. Sat. morn'g.– I have but a minute before this must go, only long Enough to Say Good morning dear husband. I wish I could know just where you are and what you are doing this morning. I am So glad to know that you think there has been no real case of poisoning. Such things are more to be dreaded than battle. You are not prepared for Such treachery. Baby is Sound asleep. He is very well indeed, grows more interesting Every day, but Sadly misses his Papa. … God bless you my own darling! Oh I love love love and kiss from now until you return. Baby Sends kisses without number. Your loving & true wife Hannah     Camp Essex Md May 25th (1861) My dear wife, I fear that you will not receive this letter in the usual time as I have been delayed all day and have not been able to write in time for the noon mail. Last night we received orders to prepare for immediate departure and packed our trunks, arranged all our effects, arranged for two days rations and – went quietly to bed.  Was waked about six this morning by a pouring rain rattling on the outside of the tent. turned over and slept till eight. It cleared about 9 and since then it has been going from hot hotter to hottest.  I am lying on the straw in the rear of my tent writing on my portfolio. Our thick underclothes are very oppressive in the middle of the day but we feel the necessity for them at nights which are invariably cool. You will see of course that our orders were countermanded. We have had so many such orders that we all take them very cooly quietly. make our preparations and wait. If  five hundred green men as we were a month ago had received such an order the camp would have been perfect Babel. As it was provisions were cooked. ammunition received and trunks packed without the slightest confusion. With an exception however. Our chaplain ignorant of many of the commonest rules of civility seems to have learned thoroughly the art of making himself disagreable. He is universally disliked. He seems to think himself the most important officer in the regiment and that it is the duty or it ought to be the pleasure of every man in the regiment to wait on him.  The order has come to fall in and be ready to move in twenty minutes.  Good bye and God bless you. Bowman One hour later! The call was for the regiment to march to the railroad to pay funeral honours to the remains of Col Ellsworth as they passed through on the train from Washington. Now the order is to be prepared to return to Washington. So we live you see. You speak in one of your letters of an undefined prejudice against Ben P. Poore. I have only known him since he has been with us but my impressions of him are rather agreeable. He is an egotist, to be sure. But he has seen a good deal of the world and is an egotist in such a cheerful chatty way that he is a very pleasant companion. He is a thorough soldier too and knows all the details of camp life so that he is a very useful man. There is quite an enthusiasm in camp over the arrival of Joe Neal & Frank Newhall. There are men whom I would have preferred to see but the sight of any Lynn face is pleasant.  Major Poore has just brought in a big paper of strawberries which we have disposed of rapidly. Don't you envy us our living. You will see by this disjointed letter what an irregular life we lead, now a call to arms and within an hour a comfortable lunch of strawberries. It is time to prepare for evening parade so I must say goodbye for tonight. Tomorrow is a quiet day and I hope to spend it with you. God bless you and guard you my precious one.              Bowman     Camp Essex Md. May 26th (1861) My very dear wife. Another beautiful day but Excessively hot. Almost all the men of the regiment were on guard duty yesterday so that with the Exception of camp cleaning there was very little to do. This is or rather ought to be done Every Sunday morning. All the straw is removed from the tents, and Every thing arranged for inspection by the proper officers. I have just been fixing my tent, and I assure it is very comfortable, not only by contrast but in reality. A potatoe makes just as good a candlestick as silver and you can have the pleasure of a new one Every day. A tin lantern makes [a] very useful chandelier. A contented mind is the great necessity in this life. Oh if I could only have you here with me. There are times when I so long for you that it seems as if I must send for you. but it would not be possible for you to be with us. We are liable to be moved at any moment and it would be worse for you to be left alone in a strange place at a few moments notice perhaps than to remain where you are. May God bless you my precious one and give you strength to bear all your anxiety. Your place is harder than mine where it ought to be the Easier. It is yours to hear all these false rumors, these malicious inventions of unprincipled news mongers. You have to bear the pain of these long, lonely, weary nights. It makes my heart ache sometimes when I think of these things. But darling, I feel and have felt as if we were surely to be spared to Each other, and soon to be folded in Each others arms once more. God has given you to me as a very precious gift, and I love you darling as I never thought to love any one. may he watch over you and keep you in all your ways. I have been interrupted and have only time to say good bye for to day. God bless you darling and keep you and our darling. Your loving husband Bowman     Camp Essex Md May 26th (1861) My dear wife, This afternoon after sending my letter to you I had a little nap and then was called to make the tour of inspection with the Col and the staff.  The Col first inspects the tents of the staff and then they all accompany him in inspecting the tents of the men. To prepare for this all the straw is taken out of the tents and spread to dry. All the baggage is arranged so that it can be readily examined and the streets between the tents are all cleanly swept.  Then the men are all drawn up in line before their tents and the officers examine men tents and baggage. Everything looked well excepting the quarters of one of the Marblehead companies which was dirtier than any ship's forecastle. After inspection the two regiments were mustered for service, in the grove directly in rear of the camp. The men were seated on the ground and the officers on the piazza of Dr. Hall's house, the owner of the place. The Chaplain of the 6th preached from the text “Fight the good fight.” It was a very plain and sensible sermon. The service was concluded by Old Hundred which was very finely sung. After the service the regiment was drilled till 6 1/2 when we had tea. I have learned to drink tea altogether. The poor coffee which we had gave me the dyspepsia terribly and I changed to tea and have had no trouble since. I consider tea the healthier drink. and as the best stimulant after fatigue. Last night I went the “Grand Rounds” with the Lieut Col. We started about 11 and walked nearly three miles visiting all the sentinels, to see if they were awake and at their posts. We had a sergeant and two men for a guard. Capt Bartlett the Col and myself.[61] When we came near a sentinel he would cry Halt! Who comes there? Ans. Grand Rounds. Sent Advance, sergeant and gives the countersign. This done the sent resp Advance Grand Rounds! and we passed on to the next. The countersign is a word like Scott. Sumpter etc which is given to all persons who have a right to pass the lines. The sentinels know this word and demand it of everyone who approaches them.  If he cannot give it he is carried to the guard hut for the night, unless known to the officer of the guard. The drums are beating Tattoo, and as I am tired I must bid you good night with many prayers to the good Father to watch over and bless us. Oh if I could only fold you in my arms and pray with you and have you kiss me a God bless you, but this cannot be so I read my chapter each night. look at your picture and pray for you. I love you my precious one and kiss you a thousand times.  Monday mrg We have had a fine shower this morning which has cooled the air but it is still very hot.  Mr. Sanderson and his brother arrived this morning. I was glad to see him. He leaves tonight for Washington. I have not seen Ben Moore yet and do not know where he is. This is one of the days when everything goes wrong. All the sick are worse and want to go home and everybody is dissatisfied with everybody else. But these days like the best have only twenty four hours, and all will be bright again soon. How I wish I could see you this morning, lay my head in your lap and be quiet and free from all anxiety for an hour or two. I don't say this because I feel blue for I do not, but there are times when the longing to see you comes over me. Thank God time moves swiftly. Only 61 days now. We still delay here but expect daily orders to move to Fortress Munroe. God bless you my precious one and guard you and our darling from sickness and sorrow. I love you and kiss you and pray for you. God bless you is the prayer of your own Bowman     Sunday May 26th (1861) My own dear husband,– This has been one of the most beautiful days Since you left – alternate Sun and Shower – but So warm that I have carried Baby out with a little Shawl thrown over him. This morning I went to Mr. Braman's church, heard Mr. Davenport from Rhode Island preach to the Soldiers.– His text was in 2nd Chronicles, 29th Chap. 15th v. It was a very good discourse, but not calculated, I think, to do So much good as Mr. F's. This afternoon I Staid at home,– feeling too tired to go out. I have Scarcely any care of the baby here, there are So many who contend for him. Alice has just brought in Some of the most beautiful apple blossoms I have Ever Seen. This warm weather will if it continues Soon make the country look finely. Oh if you could only be here to Enjoy it with me. I do love the country and the quiet of country life. … We have today received the news of the victory of the troops at Sewall's Pt. It is reported here that 84 of our men, and 400 of the rebels killed and wounded, 600 rebels taken prisoners.[62] I Suppose we must Expect now Every day to hear of Something of the kind, but oh it is dreadful to think of the grief of the friends on both Sides. with those who have friends in those Regts the Suspense must be awful. I did hope that it might not come to fighting, that numbers on our Side would So intimidate the South that they would without fighting lay down their arms, but I Suppose many of them would rather die than live to bear the humiliation of yielding to the North. Oh those cruel wicked leaders. It Seems as if they were left to destroy themselves, and bring destruction upon their Section of the country. It was in yesterday's paper that Gen. Butler's promotion would throw the Staffs of the different regiments in the M.V.M. out of office, and that their places would be Supplied from the Army of the United States. Can this be true? I do not understand why if it is So, it has not been thought of before, as Gen. B. was promoted So long ago. Dr. G. has just been in and Says that the report is that all killed are from Mass. but I cannot and do not believe it.[63] It does not Seem reasonable unless Gen. B. had Mass. men Entirely Sab. Evening,– It is bed time but I must write one word more to my dear husband. You Speak of your Express box. It was to have been Sent on Mon. but the Suit was not finished and it was delayed, I think L. told me until Thurs. also the book was Sent by Mr. Usher, instead of by B. Mooreas he would go directly back to the 8th Regt.[64] I Suppose that [you] have received it before this. … I am So glad that you had your pictures before your hair was cut So close, but Still I would have you tarry at no Jericho (there is an h. in Jericho, and only one m. in imagination. Latin, imago, my darling) not Even for one half Second. Hair or no hair I would give all I have got to See you. I Send you with this letter a copy of the Psalms. I Saw it and thought that it would be just what you would like, convenient Size and form and good print. I bought one for myself also. Oh Bowman if you were only here and I could Sit in your lap while reading, and kneel at your Side in prayer with your dear dear arms around me how happy I Should be. Oh it Seems Sometimes as if I could bear it no longer, but God knows what is best for us. I know that Sometimes your heart must ache, that you feel this Separation as keenly as I do and then the dear little one. Oh Bowman I can write no more. May this dear little book bring to you hours of comfort & consolation, and oh may God bring us to Each others arms Either here or Elsewhere. God comfort and bless you my own darling husband. Give his angels charge over you to keep you in all your ways, is the prayer of your true and loving wife.     Mon Evening May 27th (1861) My own dear husband. I received today two letters from you – one mailed in Boston, the other dropped in the Danvers Office. … Oh Bowman your letter of the 23rd has done me So much good. Yet you have not answered my questions. What Should I have done. What Shall I do or Say. I could not help feeling that it was a little unreasonable, hearing Every day all that they did hear, and knowing how little time you have in w'h to write. I have had my dress cut today by H. Hook. We think it a very handsome travelling dress.– I needed a dress and thought I would get Something Suitable to go to my dear husband wherever he may be. So you See that you need not hesitate to Send for me through fear that I Shall not be ready. It has been a `Showery' day with us. Quite a heavy thunder Shower. This Evening very windy and dismal, Everything about the house hung with hinges dismally creaking, but your letter has made me feel very cheerful. besides I feel So much better physically than when I left Lynn. I have So little care of Baby and have Slept So much that I feel almost as well as Ever. There is no lack of company. A great many have called and Every one who has Seen you Exclaims, “Oh what a beautiful baby.” “How much he looks like the Dr.” or Some Say “like his Father.” He is a beautiful baby. Oh if you could only be with us, I Should be perfectly happy. Oh Bowman it is that you have loved me So well, that you have Ever folded me in your arms and comforted me when in Sorrow, have So tenderly cared for me, that I miss you So Sadly. I did not Suspect until Since we parted how dependent upon you I had become for comfort in Every little trial. I had So long, yes from a child, lived So much within myself, and borne my bitterest griefs alone, as far as human Sympathy is concerned, that when God gave me a dear husband, one who was Ever ready to bear Every Sorrow, I yielded myself like a tired and delighted child, and now that you are away from me feel a constant longing for your Strong and loving arms. I can never for one moment forget you, darling, and can Scarcely look at your picture without bursting into tears. God has Sustained. He has been a present help in time of trouble. The Lord is the Strength of my life. Oh may he Speedily put an End to this wicked Strife, and bring together again the loved and loving ones. Tomorrow I Expect to go to the Farm. Direct your letters the Same as before, as it is uncertain how long I may Stay, and I Shall get them as Early in the day as if you directed to Danvers Center. The High School Scholars will take them to me Every day. I know darling that you would come to me if it were possible to do So consistently. I know and you know, Sadly as I miss you, that I would not for a moment wish you to do anything in the least dishonorable. May God help us both to bear this Separation, – bring us together again in his own good time, better prepared for life's duties, than Ever before. Baby has had So much of a cold that I have not carried him out So much as I Should otherwise, but now he is Entirely free from his cold, and is carried out Every day. it is nearly 11 oclk. I am breaking our rules. Good night darling with a thousand kisses.     Camp Essex Md May 28th (1861) My precious wife I have been interrupted this morning so that I have but a moment in which to write. Last night about 8 JB Alley. Mr Phillips of Salem WS Boyce + Dr Breed of Phil came up to camp.[65] I was busied with them all the Evening and this morning also. I was very glad to see them all. Mr Alley left $50.00 for the use of the hospital and the Lynn men. Mr Boyce looked as clean and fresh as usual. He promised to ride over and see you when he returned. All the good people who (have to talk about being sent home) come on here seem to feel a great (Dr I want something for my bowels) interest in you and want to do all they can to relieve you. Ben Moore came this morning and will spend a day or so (How about this hand Dr. We must settle it up to day). You see by these brackets how I have to write and how I must send only a half sheet this morning. but I could not bear to let the mail go without a word at least to assure you of the love of your own husband. Oh my darling God bless you and watch over you is the Earnest prayer of your devoted Bowman     Camp Essex Md May 28th (1861) My dear wife. It is marvellous how little good common sense you find among 800 men. not Enough to stock decently half that number. A man rushed into my tent this Evening and wanted some cologne. I told him that I had none. In about five minutes he came back flourishing a bill and demanded an Essence stating that he had sat down in something unpleasant and wanted something to take the smell out of his clothes. I told him again that we had nothing of the sort. but he would not be convinced and kept saying that he was willing to pay what I asked for it. till at last I told him that I generally meant what I said and did not wish to have my word doubted in that way. when he left in high dudgeon. This is a fair sample of the demands of the men. They seem to think that in some mysterious way the contents of a first class druggists store Extracts Essences and all have been Emptied into our medicine chests, and that we can supply at call Every article that fancy could suggest. It is the same in regard to food clothing and Every other want. This grumbling does not come from those who have been accustomed to the [ ] and [ ] of life but from those who having never Engaged Either Expect to receive both as the reward for serving their country. These things would be vexatious if they were not at the same time so supremely ridiculous. All our friends left this afternoon and the camp seems as quiet in comparison as the day after the 4th, Wed 29th The mail has just brought me a letter from Lucilla and yours of the 27th with the copy of the Psalms. It is a beautiful book and shall go with me till I return. I will read my chapter with you Each night and DV will finish the book with you after my return. You spoke of Gen Butlers staff being thrown out of place by his promotion. He has resigned his state commission and been appointed as Major Gen in the USA. consequently his staff must be appointed from the regular army. One of his old staff has volunteered for the war and continues in commission. the others have resigned. The regimental staffs are appointed by the Colonels. We are all thrown out of place by the resignation of Col Munroe unless Col Hinks chooses to appoint us again. My box arrived safely as I think I wrote you. Usher (the paymaster) has not returned yet but we Expect him here Every train. … How I should Enjoy it today if I could be with you on the grass or the big tree on the hill and have a good frolic with the baby. Oh I do so long to see you. There is a rumor in the camp that our regiment is to be offered to the government for three years. I shall think long before I accept the position of Surgeon Even if it was offered So dont feel blue whatever rumor you might hear. I shall not go without first understanding with you nor without the probability that we can be together most of the time. God bless you and watch over you and guide us both to do that which is right and best. May god give you strength to watch over our precious little one. Good bye till tomorrow Your husband Bowman     Wed. Evening May 29th (1861) My own precious husband, I have just received three letters from [you]. I received none yesterday. Oh if you could only know how I long for your letters, and how heavily the day drags by that brings no letters. … You will know of course that the news in regard to the taking of Sewall's Pt was a base fabrication. It was contradicted in the next morning's paper but I forgot to Speak of it in my Monday's letter, also of the discharge of officers of the Staff of Mass. reg'ts, referring only to Gen. Butler's Staff. In your Mon. morning letter you Speak of Everything going wrong.Is your place on the whole pleasant? Are the patients generally Satisfied? I know that they ought to be, but quackery So prevails, and as Dr. Perley Says people do So love to be humbugs that I feel Sometimes that your position may at times be unpleasant. Do write me darling, particularly in regard to it. Oh if I could only have your head in my lap, could Soothe you in the least, could bear your Sorrows for you how gladly would I do it, but as you Say this cannot be. oh this inevitable “cannot!” It Seems Sometimes as if I can bear this Separation no longer. Only one third of the time gone! Oh may God help us both to bear this! I hope that before this you have received the little copy of the Psalms w'h I Sent you. Isn't it a pretty little volume. I thought that your Bible would be at times inconvenient to take about your person, and this little book could be Slipped into Some little pocket. I Shall read the 29th Psalm tonight feeling that perhaps you are reading or have read from a little book like this before me.[66] Good night my own darling. I kiss you with a God bless you. Oh for your dear arms around me. Thurs. morn'g. Contrary to my Expectations it is pleasant, a clear bright morning, but rather cold. I Shall take Baby out, and keep him out as much as possible while I am here. Addie is with me to help take care of Baby, So that I Shall have a very Easy time, if we are both well. Mother is very pleasant, and Pa of course Enjoys having us here very much. Although I had three of your letters last night, I feel just as Eager this morning for another. … I am So Sorry that you have not a pleasanter man for a Chaplain. A man with a good Sound head and good heart would do So much good. He could have had very little idea of camp life, if he Supposed that he was to be waited upon much. I wish that you could have had M. Clark. He is very anxious to get a Situation in the Army Either as officer, private or Chaplain. I think that he would mingle with the men, and they could not fail to like him. For your Sake I would wish that you might have Mr. Sewall but I Suppose that he does not think Seriously of going. Pa is ready to go and I must Stop. God Ever bless and keep you my own dear husband – hasten the time of your return. Your loving loving wife.     Camp Essex Md. May 29th (1861) My own dear wife. Except the arrival of Usher our paymaster, nothing has arrived to day to break the dull monotony of our life here. There is a rumor tonight that we are to prepare for a start. Some extra rations cooked etc but we have had so many such reports of late that we have learned to distrust them all. Usher brought with him the money for the pay of the regiment for the fifteen days service before we were sworn into the service of the United States. I find that I have only the pay of an Assistant Surgeon, while our worthless Chaplain receives the pay of a captain of cavalry considerably more than mine. I do not think I shall accept the money but wait till I return and settle my accounts then. It is a little singular if my education does not entitle me to as much recompense as an ignorant Methodist class leader. But so the world goes. and we must float with it. If I am to receive such pay, I shall hardly make the two ends meet at the close of the three months service. I bought a camp bed today, which is so light that it can be easily carried and which will give me a very comfortable bed. It only cost $3.50. It will serve in the daytime for a very comfortable lounge. I have been filling out this evening the papers for the discharge of six men for various diseases who will be sent home the last of this week. There are a good many men here who never should have come. They break down and we have the expense of keeping them at the hospital for a week or so and then sending them home. The order to prepare to move has just been revoked so we shall have I presume a quiet night. Oh my darling if I could spend it with you in my arms. I do so long to see you and our little one once more. God bless you this night, fold you in the arms of his love and be your guardian and your guide. Good night dearest. Thursday May 30th One month of our captivity expires today. It seems in looking back on the time since we left home as if it was far more than 45 days and yet so many events have crowded the period. and our plans have been shifted in so rapid and exciting a manner. and yet each day passes quickly, every moment seems to bring some duty and thus almost without knowing it the day passes. I received your letter mailed the 28th this morning. … I am so glad to find that my letters do you good. It is the prayer of my life that you may be happy and that I may do you good. I love you more and more day by day. You say you yielded to my love and protection like a “tired child.” Oh my dear wife I never knew what joy there was in this world till I folded you to my arms as my own wife and felt that there was one at last who would never doubt me, one refuge where I could always find sympathy and love. Oh! the wealth of a true wife's love. God give me grace to be worthy of it. I love you my precious one, and pray for you. God bless us and our charge. Love and a thousand kisses to you from your Bowman     Thurs. May 30th (1861) My darling husband, Let me tell you how I have Spent the day. I got up this morning at a little past 5 o'k (thanks to the young man) washed and dressed myself and the “young doctor,” had breakfast, after w'h Baby went to Sleep and I went to washing for S'd baby. At 9 o'k young man awoke, we had luncheon and Addie and I dragged the little one over to Uncle Jasper's. We were out of doors with Baby more than two hours. He Slept during part of the time, and Sat bolt upright, delighted with the beauties of Nature, apparently, the remainder. Came home at 11 1/2 – went to bed and Slept until dinner was ready at 12 1/4. After dinner tended Baby for awhile until he went to Sleep, then did my ironing and had just got baby dressed after his nap when callers came. Mary Wolcott and Lydia P. Putnam. I Suppose you will Say to yourself if not aloud, from force of habit, if nothing Else, Who in the world are they? Well you have heard me Speak of them a great many times. They are daughters of Uncle Nathan, who lives in the brick house on the way from Lynn to the Plains.[67] _ Had a few minutes before tea. Enlarged the armsizes to one of Baby's Shirts. Had Supper, undressed Baby and put him to bed, asleep. – Now writing to my darling husband by twilight. Oh if you were only here and I could Sit in your lap, if I could not Say one word how I would kiss you. Oh my heart is full, full of you. Oh I never knew So long a month as the month of May, 1861. I cannot tell, I cannot begin to Express my love and longing for you.

Fri. morning.

When I left writing last night, it was So dark that I could not See, but fully intended to write again when the lamps were lighted but threw myself on the Sofa and Slept Soundly until late in the Evening. You will See that I have not got Entirely over my Sleepiness. I have had neuralgia in my head for a few days past, and I think it makes me more Sleepy. …

Oh these are pleasant beautiful days! but my Sunlight is in Baltimore. I would rather be there with you, uncomfortable as the weather and accommodations might be, than be here with Every convenience. Your yesterday's letter was So Short that I was obliged to read it over a great many times … Every word was precious. do not fail to write if it be but a word. I am glad that you have had So many pleasant visitors from Lynn. It must do you a great deal of good to See Some one from this way. Oh darling God Ever bless and keep you and return you Speedily to your loving wife

 

 

Camp Essex Md

May 31st (1861)

My dear wife,

Another still hot day, but we have a comfortable location and by keeping still in the middle of the day we keep very comfortable. This camp life is growing monotonous. All the novelty is past, and there is nothing now but the dull routine of daily duty. Still this very regularity of  life makes the days pass swiftly. I have not received a letter this morning. I suppose because you were busied in moving up to the farm it was delayed one mail and will reach me this afternoon or at least tomorrow morning. My new uniform is the most comfortable summer suit I ever had but I think you would be amused to see your husband stepping about in a short jacket. Sa[u]nderson Merritt and I have fatigues alike and they are quite the envy of the camp. We were talking this morning about writing letters home every day, and Merritt told Lieut. Austin of John who was writing to his lady that she ought to have an excellent temper to stand so much every day, that his wife had a very fine disposition but she would never endure anything like that.[68] Merritt will probably go home next week. His wife is to be confined soon and he will go home on business for the regiment so as to be with her. I am glad he is going for if ever a wife needs the strength of her husband's presence it is in this time of her trial.

You know this well don't you?

Our fat quartermaster has been working this morning on the distribution of a quantity of stores received from Mass such as soap, towels, combs, pens, ink + paper, blacking + brushes etc. All these things we should have had when we started but they are just reaching us. We are reveling now in strawberries, at 8 cts a quart. I should hesitate to say how many I consume a day. I wish I could get some on to you but the distance is too great. They would spoil before they reached you. Col. Hinks has sent on for his wife by telegraph this morning. The temptation to send for you to come on is almost irresistible but I do not think it prudent at present. There are no accommodations here except in private families and I am not well enough acquainted to ask any one to give you a home. Again, we are in a place where we can protect ourselves but we do not know the surroundings and we are liable to have a set of rough soldiers come here any time who would not be very comfortable neighbors. Again we have every little while an alarm.  My place then would be in this camp and I should suffer to know your anxiety and fright left alone with a little baby. I long to see you but cannot see any way in which it would be safe or proper for you to come at present. Perhaps if Isaac and Mary come on you might come with them to Philadelphia and then down to Baltimore for a day or so. You may be assured that the minute I can with safety to you and the baby I shall send for you. Meanwhile we must be patient. God bless you my darling, guard you and keep you at all times is the prayer of your own husband who loves you and kisses you

Bowman

 

 

Camp Essex Relay House

May 31st (1861)

My own dear wife

This has been quite a stirring day in camp. I told you that part of the troops were paid off yesterday. The consequence has been that over a hundred men have run guard and most of them have been to Baltimore. One man we hear this evening is in fact in the city on a charge of an assault with intent to kill, several have been taken for petty larceny and a great many are drunk and have used insulting and irritating language to the citizens there. This in the present excited state of things could not be allowed. Slighter causes than this have provoked serious enmities. Col. Hinks ordered the stoppage of the trains from Baltimore and the arrest of every man in the uniform of the regiment. We have now two tents swarming with prisoners and many more to come. Tomorrow they will all be tried by court martial and severely punished. Col. Hinks made an admirable speech to the men at evening parade, telling them that he had endeavored to treat them all like men and equals, demanding only the respect due to his rank as commanding the regiment, but certain men had abused his confidence, and brought disgrace on Mass and the good name of the regiment, and by the living God it should be stopped, that the army regulations should be strictly enforced, and every offender tried by court martial and that he should not hinder the execution of any sentence unless notoriously unjust. At the close of his speech the men gave three cheers for the Col and three more for discipline. There seemed the best disposition among the majority of the men to sustain the officers in subduing the evil disposed, and considering the number there is only a small number who really are disposed to do wrong. I am glad this thing has happened as it will bring matters to a crisis and put a stop to what has been a curse ever since leaving home – lack of discipline.

Saturday morning –

Some one is to carry this mail an hour and a half before the train so I have no time to write a word. Good morning + God bless you my own wife.

Bowman

Yours of the 30th received

 

 

Fri. Evening May 31st (1861)

My own dear dear husband,

Today has been a long very pleasant one but I feel very tired this Evening. Have been out with Baby nearly all day. This morning went in to Zeph'h Pope's, and of course we must have an adventure. We went over very nicely, but I thought that it would be very pleasant to come back through “the old lane,” through w'h I used to go to School, forgetting that there was a brook, w'h might Easily be crossed on “Stepping Stones” but hardly the brook to draw a baby-carriage through. It was too far to go back in the hot Sun, So I took Baby in arms, holding my coats “higher than you have any idea on,” and walked across on the Stones. Addie took out the pillows and carriage blanket laid them upon the wall and Started with the intention of Stepping upon the Stones and drawing the carriage through the water, but when nearly across She made a miss-Step, and Stepped into the water. I wish that you could have Seen her foot, when She fished it up out of the mud. I left her on the grass with Baby and went back for pillows and blanket, – poor Addie all the while laughing herself weak at my appearance.

I had been at home but a few minutes – had my feet in Some warm water when Mother and Fred came driving into the yard, in your buggy.[69] My Eyes would fill with tears Every time I looked upon the chaise, and thought how much we Enjoyed together in our rides. This afternoon I went with them to call upon Aunt Sarah taking Baby along. So you See that he does not lack for Sun and air. They left this afternoon 4-30. Old Phillip really does very well. I think that Mother will keep him going this Summer at least. She is very anxious that I Should go back to Lynn Soon, but it is So much Easier for me to take care of Baby here. I have So many to help me, and it is So much better for us both to be here that I think that I Shall Stay here, at Uncle J's and the Plains for Some weeks to come. E. & M. both Say that I Shall not go back until it is nearly time for you to return. Oh Bowman Speaking of your return reminds me of what you Say in regard to the 8th Regts volunteering for the war. You tell me that I must not be blue, if I See Such a report. Oh Bowman the bare possibility that you might Stay longer than the three months has haunted me night and day for weeks. I could not help throwing myself upon the bed and crying it out alone when I got yours of today in w'h you Speak of it. I know that whatever you do, you will act from a Sense of duty, – that if you Stay it will be a bitter bitter trial for you as well as for me. Oh I cannot, I will not write about it. I cannot bear the thought yet. Oh these long weary days, full of bright Sunshine, fullof Everything that is beautiful in nature, to be Sure, but lacking the one thing w'h can make me truly happy, – my dear dear husband. I do not for one moment forget you, – there is a heavy aching heart, here, waiting, wearily waiting, your return. And there too the dear little one. I feel at times that I can have the responsibility no longer, alone – that I am utterly incompetent. Oh I did not mean to write in this Sad way. I had better not write at all. I believe I have less and less courage Every day. Good night my own darling husband. May God bless you abundantly, keep you, and bring you Speedily to you loving and true wife Hannah Oh I love lovelove you and kiss you a thousand times. Oh how I miss your dear Strong arms! –     Camp Essex Md June 1st (1861) My precious wife, I am setting in my hut alone this evening. Tapley has gone away for an hour or so. It rains fast and the patter patter on the hut sounds pleasantly. It is soothing and disposes for sleep but I cannot go to bed without a chat with my darling. We had a minor show of war this afternoon. The two regiments with the Boston Flying Artillery marched to a long field about a mile and a half from camp and spent about two hours in military movements. It was hot work but all seemed to enter into the spirit of this thing and to enjoy themselves. I received on our return the most acceptable present possible – a letter from you. the second to-day. in payment for a dry day yesterday. … The stand taken by Col. Hinks yesterday has done good. There is a better state of feeling in the camp and I have no doubt but that things will go on more smoothly. We are endebted for much of this improved feeling to Maj. Poore. He is an old army officer and helps to keep the whole moving in good order. Nothing but experience could convince one thoroughly how absolutely necessary is the routine of military life. It is hard for some of the men who have always been masters of their own lives and could go where they liked to submit to the restraint of passes etc. but all the well disposed see more and more the necessity of stern rules and yield to them gracefully. I feel a just pride in belonging to a regiment which has done so much and hope for the honor of the Reg. & the state that our name shall wear no stain and I do not believe it will. I fear from reading your letter of Wed that I have been giving you rather a somber view of our camp life. If so I hope to correct it. As a general rule everything goes on well. occasionally some little thing goes wrong. and perhaps tinges my letters. but I should be sorry if I have conveyed an idea that my situation is unpleasant. My patients are as a general rule well satisfied. I have not had an unpleasant word with one of the officers and think I have made ten friends where one has gone away dissatisfied. If things go on as well during the remainder of the term. I shall be perfectly satisfied. Good night my own loved one. I am going to read in the beautiful little book you sent me. have a good look at you and the little one and go to bed, to pray for you. May the good Father keep us in all our ways, and in his own good time unite us never to separate. Love and kisses. Sunday mrn'g – We have just finished parade and inspection. It cleared last night and this morning has been excessively hot but is clouding up now for a shower this afternoon. How I should love to be out under the tree with you. I could lie there all day without moving if I could have you with me. God bless you my precious one and give us both strength to bear for each other's sake the pain of this waiting and may it make us better fitted for life and for adding to each other's happiness. Let us pray always for each other and for ours. I love you and kiss you. Bowman     Camp Essex Relay House Md Sunday June 2d (1861) My precious wife. Your letter of the 30th arrived this evening in which you detail your occupation for the day. Let me describe mine for today. I was waked about 5 3/4 by two men for medicines, supplied them and then dressed and washed.  At 6 – came sick call and I was busied till 7 1/4 when we had breakfast after which I was busiest with my patients and arranging my tent till 9 when we went out for review and inspection which lasted nearly two hours. I finished your letter and whiledtill dinner. After dinner I smoked and then slept till nearly 4 when we dressed for service, which was held before the two regiments in the grove just as a week since. This is a charming place and commands a fine view. The men stacked their arms and lay down in ranks on the ground. Our chaplain preached a very excellent sermon. He seems to be improving. He is getting better used to camp life, and much more sociable. After service we all went over to the other camp for a half hour. On our return had tea and now I am here writing to you with Tapley and Lieut Custer talking on all sorts of topics and rather confusing my ideas.[70] You say in your letter that you never knew so long a month as May '61. I fancy there are a great many “war widows” and widowers who could sympathize with you fully. The same story comes from and goes to all. Ah if we could see one another! I have made some very pleasant acquaintances among the officers here with whom I can sit down and have a good chat. It reminds me of old college times and in more respects than one. There is no such thing as privacy here. We might as well live in a glass house as in a tent. Everybody can see and hear all that goes on. Dressing is a grand burlesque on the mysteries of the toilette. In fact shirt drawers and boots has been adopted as an airy any graceful morning costume since the thermometer has become ambitious. I think that in spite of its discomforts this camp life agrees with me. I was never healthier in my life, am brown as a berry and rejoice in a splendid crop of freckles. I have lost some flesh but have plenty left to carry about on a march. These hot days I am sorry to say that this rough life is rendering me reckless of my personal adornment. Perhaps absence of all mirrors has something to do with it. Where you cannot see yourself from one weeks end to another it makes very little difference whether your hair is combed or not. Sometimes it is forgotten all day. Think of this in the hero of two and three baths a day.  I almost envy you the comfort of your country life. I think its stillness would be grateful to me now. I could be contented anywhere if I had you and baby with me. How I long to see the little one. His picture is perfection itself. I can almost hear him crow. I like your likeness a great deal better than I did at first. It does not look so sad. What do you mean by speaking of grey hairs? It won't do for you to grow grey. That is my prerogative. Are you much troubled with neuralgia? I have been afraid of that. Nursing is a great tax upon anyone's strength and I fear that you are suffering for baby's benefit. You must promise me to drink ale or porter every day and to eat plenty of fresh eggs with brandy. This is absolutely necessary for you. I don't like the idea of you washing the baby's clothes. The handling and nursing of 18 lbs of humanity is work enough for you. Don't overexert yourself I beg of you but get all the benefit which good country air and diet can offer you. It is late and I must retire. God ever bless you my precious one and guard you in all your ways. I love you more and more and kiss you and thousand times. Monday June 3d Another intensely hot day. A perfect day where everything sticks to you as if it was glued. I am going into Baltimore for a few hours with Major Poore Merritt and several others. I will write you this evening what I see.  Meanwhile good morning my darling. God watch over guard and protect you.  Love to all and kisses for yourself and baby. Bowman     Camp Essex Md June 3d (1861) My Ever dear wife. I returned from Baltimore to find your letter of Friday awaiting me. I had a very pleasant day. Went to a photographer and had some more pictures taken to Exchange with the officers who are all having theirs taken. I shall have quite a gallery. They will be interesting mementoes of the war. As soon as I receive them I will send you one so that you may see if I have altered any since I sent you one from Washington. After having our pictures taken we took a hack and went down to fort McHenry. which commands Baltimore. This is the fort the attack on which suggested to Keys the “Star Spangled Banner.” I plucked a rose which I Enclose. Have you read Dr Howes letter to the Governor published in the Journal of last Thursday (30th) reporting the general sanitary conditions of the troops.[71] I was indignant when I read it. A cold blooded comparison of the condition of our men with European conscripts is not what he was sent to write. Some of his statements are true but it is a poor return for Mass to make for the privations and sufferings of her sons, to sneer at their statements as whining complaints. It was very well for him to travel to Washington walk through the quarters after Yankee ingenuity had made them comfortable. dine at State Expense at Willards and then sit down with a full belly and compare our condition with his own in Greece whom he sent voluntarily, but if he had been called from his home at an hours notice for a forced march of 11 days without a chance to wash or change his clothes during that time, had rubbed his nose on the dirty decks of the Marylands, had made a forced march through an Enemys country which Scots soulfor fatigue + privation was unparalleled, and then had been compelled to sleep for weeks on damp marble floors or on these malaria-haunted fields without blanket or overcoat as some of our men had to do. he might find it a very different thing. What is in a name. Call a man a soldier and it makes no difference from what station in society he may have come. some people seem to think he ceases to be human and becomes a mere machine to be speculated about and Experimented upon at pleasure. I pity our Solons when some of these machines get home and are unmuzzled. We officers live well Enough but some of the men have found this life a bitter change from home. But Enough of this. The letter stirred my blood and my indignation found vent in this form. I love to write to you just as I should sit down and chat at home. You speak of my Enlisting for a longer time. Dont feel sad about that. If this regiment should volunteer as a whole which I consider very doubtful all the officers must be appointed by the Governor and my services might not be accepted. As I wrote you before I shall not take any steps myself but leave circumstance to decide for us. Oh I do so long to see you to night fold you in my arms. and love and kiss you. God bless you my darling Good night June 4th rainy but have nothing to do out of doors so keep comfortable Am in a hurry for mail so must say goodbye. God bless you Bowman     Mon morning June 3rd (1861) My own dear husband, Yesterday morning I did not go to church but Baby kept me busy most of the time. Afternoon went to church. … I received yours of the 30th yesterday in w'h you Speak of receiving the pay of an Assistant Surgeon. What can it mean? I Suppose that Every Surgeon fares the Same of course. How is it with Dr. Smith? I would not be troubled about it. You will have had the Experience and gained many warm friends I know. As to the ignorant Methodist class leader, it is just as you Say. “So the world goes.” We are willing, aren't we, darling, to float with it, if we can only float upon the Same wave. Anywhere, anyhow, with you by my Side. There are reports in the papers that the N. York regiment was Stoned while going through Baltimore. Oh I do hope that Such things will not go unpunished. It Seems to me that however trifling the injury done, the Spirit Should be checked … God bless you darling. My heart is full but no time to make the attempt of writing it out.     Mon Eve'g June 3rd (1861) My dear dear husband, I have just received your letter in w'h you Say that Col. Hinks has telegraphed for his wife to meet him. I am almost tempted to Say that I will let the night go by without writing, Shabbily Short as my letter was this morning. Not that I do not rejoice with Mrs H. Oh I am glad for her, but I feel So Sad, that my letter, I am afraid, will do you more harm than good. I cannot Say that I am disappointed in not going. I never have had any hope or Expectation of going to you, although you do not mention in your objections the reason of reasons for my Staying. I know that Mrs Black considered it imprudent to take a babe of Six months with her when She went South for the Winter. She felt obliged, hard as it was for her to do it, to leave it behind, and I know that to take a babe South in the Summer would be presumption. My place is at home with the little one. I can have no hope of Seeing you until the End of the three months, perhaps not then. Oh it Seems at times as if I could bear this no longer. I have always written and So have you to me, as though there was a possibility that I could go to you but we may as well meet the truth face to face, as to try to deceive ourselves by Such writing. You acted from a Sense of duty in offering your Services to the Regt. It must be our comfort, now that the bitterness of Separation grows day by day more trying. – God has ordered all our Steps. He knows what we need. He will help us to bear all our trials if we will but trust him, but how often we go to Christ with our Sorrows, yet leave them not with him, but Strange as it may Seem, Still willingly bear our burdens alone. Oh Bowman, my heart is So cold, my faith So weak, that I am ready at times to give up my hope, then the question comes where or to whom Shall I go? My only refuge, my only hope is Christ! Oh if you were only here, that I might be folded in your arms tonight. Oh may God's angels Encamp round about you this night. God bless you, comfort you in all your Sorrows. I will, I can write no more tonight. Tues. morning. It is not 6 o'clock, but Baby is washed and dressed, and with Addie in bed. It is a bright beautiful morning, and I can but hope that to both of us it will bring Everything of joy. Elizabeth is coming to Uncle Jasper's on Thursday and will Stay until they return from the country. I Shall probably Stay there with her most of the time. Aunt S. wishes me very much,  I cannot tell yet when I Shall go back to Lynn. I cannot bear to think of going back into that lonely chamber, besides I cannot but think that L[ucilla], although She Says a great deal about my Staying away with the baby and that She is So lonesome, is happier on the whole than when I am there and receiving your letters Every day. She is very lonely when I am thereSo that my Staying makes no difference in that particularly. Am I not right,– is it not better to give up all hope of my going to you, rather than to try to think that Sometime I can go. I cannot See how you are likely to be Situated any better than at present. You have never intimated until yesterday that you apprehended in the least an attack while there. I suppose you have feared that it might make me more anxious. Oh Bowman God only knows what I Suffer when the thought comes that I may never See you again in this world,– and God alone can Sustain me in this trial. He has Sustained me. Oh pray for me that I may have faith and that Strength may be given me for the care of this little one. Oh darling may God watch over & keep you is the prayer of your loving wife. Hannah.     Camp Essex near Relay House June 4th (1861) My darling wife, It has rained all day in torrents. Our tents have shed the water very well but everything has been damp and sticky. We have spent the day in housecleaning, i.e. sweeping the ground and arranging anew our effects.  Our beds came today so we have put the box which serves for a table in one end of the tent, placed our beds on each side and floored the middle with old box covers.  We have a line stretched from one end of the box to the other on which to hang towels swords haversacks etc.  The longer we stay here the better off as we [are] adding some little conveniences to our quarters every day.  The fresh news I heard this morning was of the death of SA Douglass and I went out to find the flag at half mast in commemoration of this really sad event for with all his sad life he had thrown his talents and vast influence on the right side.[72] Death loves shining markers. Twice since we have been here has our flag drooped in sad memory of … Col Ellsworth. Today it is draped for Douglas and tomorrow will hang at half mast in memory of Col Kelly.[73] Noble sacrifices in this most holy war for the blood which cements is as hallowed as that which first builds.  Mrs. Hinks arrived this afternoon having left Boston last night at 8 1/2.  I have not seen her yet.  She brought her little boy with her.  The Col. brought him to supper with him and I had quite a chat with the little fellow, showed him your likeness which he recognized at once saying that he had seen you at his mother's.  At Fort McHenry yesterday I procured from one of the officers a piece of the rope with which John Brown was hung which I thought might interest some of our abolition brothers and sisters to see.  I enclose a fragment, having sent the remainder to Billy Keene  As the summer comes on with its delightful weather how I should love to spend it with you.  If I could only find out anything definite about our movements, could know that we were to remain here for any length of time, I would have you here with me.  I long to see you to hold you in my arms and love you and kiss you, and comfort you.  I wish you would find out if there is any prospect that Isaac and Mary would come on and let me know.  Perhaps you might come on with them for a few days even if you did not remain.  Do you feel well enough to undertake the journey if it is practicable?  Let me know what you think of it.  I don't want to excite expectations which may never be realized, but if it is prudent I mean to have you with me for a time at least.  Good night and God's blessing on you my own precious one.  I love love love you and pray for you and our darling little baby. Wed mng.  It rains as hard as ever, a cold easterly storm which makes everything blue but there is one thing it cannot last long.  God bless you my darling and keep you in all your ways. Bowman     Tues. Eve'g June 4th (1861) My own dear husband, Asenath Exclaims Why! are you going to write. I have been reading the papers, and it is quite late. There is a fascination about the papers, although the reports are So contradictory. Received yours of June 1st today, in wh you Speak of trouble arising from bad use of money, received on the 30th.– I am So glad that you have now So Efficient a colonel, and that he is So well Sustained. What could you have done, had Monroe Still been Col.? I wish that I could See Mrs Hinks, but I Suppose that She may have left before now. … I wish that I could recall the letter Sent this morning. I am afraid that it will make you Sadly unhappy. When I found that Mrs H. was to go and I must be left behind, it Seemed for a time more than I could bear. I felt the utter hopelessness as never before of going to you. If I could only know that your regiment would return in three months, it would be comparatively Easy, but this dreadful uncertainty. Oh Bowman Shall I Stop writing? It Seems as if my letters of late had all been Sad, Sad, – calculated to depress you, and make your lot harder than it need be. Forgive me for the pain w'h I have caused you, and pray for your loving, if not always cheerful wife.– I took Baby today into our neighbors to compare him with another baby of six and a half months. It was a fine healthy looking child but I think could boast of no more beauty than ours. I do not think our baby very handsome (I have forgotten that I had written you that Everybody Says that he [looks] just like his Papa, Excuse me. I will take it all back when you come home) but then he is so good, and we, the “Staff” think him very interesting. He was So interested in worldly matters to night that I could not get him to Sleep until nearly 8 o'clock. He Examined carefully Every round of the rocking chair, with a view I Should judge of making one of the Same pattern, carried on long and apparently interesting conversations with an important individual, known as Baby, etc etc. It is getting late very late. … Wed. morning, June 5th Another bright day. Shall take the baby out again today. He is growing very fast, and Seems perfectly well Enjoys his rides in the open air very much. Looks a young prince with his two horses (Addie & I) to draw him. Oh if I could only See you this morning, could give you one kiss how happy I Should be. Do you think the Reg't will be retained for the war? Love to Mrs H. if She is there. Your own true wife     Camp Essex near Relay House Md June 5th (1861) My precious wife. We have had all day a cold driving Easterly storm. Everything out of doors has been as cheerless as possible but I have kept busy within and so the day has slipped pleasantly by. I have been writing a letter to the Reporter in reply to the report of Dr. Howes of which I wrote you a day or two since. I wish you would get a copy of the Journal (30th) and cut the article out and also keep this letter when it is published in the Reporter.[74] I received your letter this Evening of Monday. Did you write one Sunday? If so I have not received it yet. You speak of having been sick! Was you so sick as to be unable to write? I shall be anxious till I know that you are wholly recovered. I cannot bear to think of you being sick and in pain and I unable to do anything for your comfort. I feel as if I must have you with me and long for some light to show me what to do. We are as much perplexed by rumors as Ever. Unless you could come with some one who could look out for you and see that you was safe I should not be willing to have you here. Of one thing you may be sure. I long to have you here as much as you do to come. and as soon as I can devise some practicable plan will send for you. Mrs Hinks spent the forenoon at camp this morning in spite of the rain. I had quite a chat with her. She was sorry that you was not able to come on with her. Her little boy was with her. We are going to get a uniform for him and make him a corporal. He will be a pleasant plaything for us. It rained so hard that Mrs H stayed and dined with us. The arrangement of our tent … did not suit us so we have moved back to our old position thus. Can you imagine from this how our tent looks. Oh if you could only look in and see me. and I could fold you once more in my arms. but this cannot be yet. and I must go to bed alone. It is a cold wet night outside but you would be surprised to find how warm these tents are Especially after they are soaked with water they are almost air-tight. I have just read the XXXVI psalm.[75]Let us hope that we may soon have the joy of reading one together. God bless you my own wife. I love you and kiss you a thousand times. Kiss the darling little one for me and remember me kindly to all the good people. Thurs mrng It rained all night and rains this morning as if had not for a year before. We shall have another long disagreable day but must make the best of it. The morning mail is just leaving so I so I must say good bye. Love and kisses from your own Bowman     Thurs Even'g June 6th (1861) My own dear husband, I received yours of June 4th today in w'h you relieve yourself in regard to Dr H's letter. I had read the letter and felt a little “mad” myself. But you have never complained in the least in your letters to me, and in no letter from any member of the 8th have I read that they felt that they had had a very hard time. The members of the 7th N.Y. Reg't wrote very differently in regard to it but I had thought that perhaps to them, as a regiment, the change from their luxurious Style of living to a Soldier's life was greater, therefore the different tone of the letters._ but certainly Gen. Scott is old Enough to know, and that w'h would draw tears from a Gen. Butler's Eyes could not have been of So trifling a character. …

This has been a rainy day but we have had a nice warm fire in the “air tight”, and have been here in the Sitting room all day. Baby thinking that he could not go out has made the best of it by Sleeping an unusual length of time.

It is So Still here that he has nice naps. Sleeps oftentimes without waking but once during the night. Addie is Still Staying with me, So that I get along nicely with Baby. …

You Speak as though you considered it doubtful whether the 8th Reg't were offered for the war, while Poorwrites that it has already tendered its Services for three years. Oh Bowman you tell me not to be Sad, but it is Easier, very much Easier to give that advice than to follow it when given. I am doing all I can and the best I know for the baby, but I feel the responsibility more and more Each day. It is not a little thing darling for a mother to have the whole care of a babe of 5 months. Baby is waking and I must Stop. God bless you.

Fri. morning June 7th.–

Another cold Stormy day. If we could average our weather with yours! We have had few really warm days thus far. A very cold backward Spring. Many thanks for the rose-bud. It Shall be treasured carefully, and kept as a precious thing. …

I wake Every morning with the Sad consciousness that you are far away from [me]. At night my last thought is of you. Oh if I could only be with you. I care not where it is. Good by till tomorrow darling!

Your loving wife

Hannah

The neuralgia troubles me very little indeed.

 

 

Fri June 7th (1861)

My own dear husband,

I have just laid Baby into the bed awake, and while he is getting what fun he can from the blanket, I will write a word to my dear one. I have just received yours of the 5th in wh’ you tell me that Mrs. Hinks had arrived. Oh Bowman if I could only go to you. I try to be reconciled but oh the tears will come. …

I am making a longer Stay here than I Expected to make, but Mother is very pleasant and urges me to Stay and then there has been So many rainy days that I have been about very little. … Do you think that I am doing wrong in Staying away from Lynn So long. Anything of w'h Mother and Lue ought to complain? Tell me just how you feel and just what you think, dear husband. I will do just as you advise me if it is a possible thing.

All these plans, of course, would make no difference about my going to you at any time. I have Every thing ready for myself and baby So that as far as dress is concerned I could Start at a very Short notice. You must decide this for me.

Oh if you could know the longing to be folded in your arms once more. Yes, you do know,– and you know the bitterness of this Separation. It Seems to me tonight that I must Say that I will go to you, that I can wait no longer, but then the dear little baby.– Oh how I wish that you could have him to comfort you. If we only had lots and lots of money and I could only go with Baby to Philadelphia to board, that would Seem So much nearer, and we could See Each other often,– but this is foolish.

It is getting very late and I am nearing the bottom of the page. Oh my dear dear husband. I love love love you more and more. May God Soon unite us never to be Separated again. Let us hope and trust in him.

Oh darling come to me, as Soon as duty will allow. God bless and keep you from all harm.–

 

 

Furlough

Camp Essex June 7th (1861)

Col EW Hinks

Dear Sir

I hereby request leave of absence for Eight days to go to Mass for the transaction of some private business which requires personal attention.

Bowman B Breed

Surgeon 8th Reg

Approved for reasons given

Edw. W. Hinks

Colonel 8th Regt. M.V.M.

Approved

Edward F Jones

Colonel Mass Sixth

Commandant of Post

 

 

Wed June 12th (1861)

My darling husband,

It is nearly 10 oc'k but one word with my dear husband. I have been at home but a Short time. About 7 oc'k Dr. Perley came in and invited me to ride with him. So after getting baby to bed I went, had a nice ride on the beach and a pleasant Social time with the kind hearted doctor. It was hard, yes, impossible to keep back the tears when I thought of you, and of the rides w'h we have taken together but I did the best I could, and listened well, if I didn't talk much. I think of you now as on your way to N. York, if not too tired to keep awake, thinking of the loved ones at home. How different from your last journey to N. York, then with a regiment, cheered at Every Step by an Enthusiastic city full Spending the night in a car filled with officers in grave consultation etc etc. Now leaving quietly like an ordinary citizen. _ _ Oh how Stiff and mean is pen talk now.  Oh for your arms around me and a good look – it is worth all the writing. Baby is Sleeping Sweetly on his dear Papa's Side, perhaps dreaming of him, his Mama Sitting in the little rocking [chair] by the bureau writing to him, not So utterly wretched as on the Evening of the 18th of Apr. 8 weeks ago tonight, but with a Sad longing, a dreary vacancy, a heavy, lonely pain at her heart._ Oh Bowman these chords about our hearts are Every day, Every minute growing Stronger and Stronger.– I have known that you loved me, but never the full assurance before as now Dont Say that I am agreeing with Michellet and that we needed this Separation. Remember that I knew that you loved me before. No I cannot believe that we needed to be Separated, that we might love Each other more. I must read my chapter alone tonight. Oh my prayer is for you, that God will bless and keep you, make you happy and reunite us Speedily never again to be Separated. I love you, oh I love you So and kiss you Ever. Thurs. morn. … I am going as Soon as Baby wakes to M. Boyce's to talk and arrange for the flags. The papers Say nothing new this morning. the report is contradicted that Gen. B. has taken the batteries.[76] Oh I do So wish that the inventor of these Stories could be punished in Some way. Oh Bowman if I could only have you with me. I got up this morning as heretofore washed and dressed the baby before 6 1/2, while Everything and body were quiet. God grant that we may live once more in Each others arms. this writing is Such a mean Substitute. It Seems more unsatisfactory than Ever. Baby is waking. Good bye darling till tonight. Dear, dear, dear husband Oh how I love you, and you love Your true wife, Hannah.     Camp Essex June 13th (1861) My own dear wife You will see by the date of this that I am here safely. I had a very pleasant visit to Sinclairs. He went to the station with me and saw me off. I had a comfortable berth in the sleeping car and rested pretty well. I checked my trunk through to Baltimore and so had no trouble with luggage. We reached N.Y. about 5 and I went to the Astor for breakfast. I found a very pleasant Lieut of one of the NY Regiments for a companion from NY and the day passed quickly. We found Baltimore perfectly quiet. I reached the camp about 5 and found Every thing much as when I left it. They all seemed glad to see me. There has been but one accident since I left. A drunken man rolled down the bank and cut his lip badly. We have two mild cases of fever, with these Exceptions all are doing well. Matters seem to be in confusion here. Capt Briggs has left as I told you to be Col of the 3d Reg. Capt Devereux will probably be appointed Lieut in the Army and Col Hinks has made application to be reinstated in his old position.[77] which he resigned to take this place. I don't know what is to be the result. One thing is certain. Our regiment has been most shabily treated by the State authorities. God only knows the future. but he has guided us thus far darling and I have faith that our path will be made plain before us. Mrs Hinks seemed very glad to see me, inquired particularly for you and was very sorry that you had not returned with me. I went down with her to see the Evening parade and played with Bartie, loading his bean gun for him. I love children but I cant make any seem like the little one that has papa's place to night. Oh my own precious wife God in heaven bless you, comfort you sustain you in all your sorrows quiet you in all your doubts and do you good. I have just made up our bed with sheets. They will be a great luxury for us. Again God bless you and good night my darling. Bowman     Thurs Even'g June 13th (1861) My dear dear husband, If you were here I Should Say, Oh Bowman my corns my corns! and when I tell you of the walk w'h we (that is Mary B. and I) have taken you'll not be Surprised. We have called upon Mrs G. Newhall & Mrs. Warner Mrs. E. Saunderson Mrs Usher Mrs. J.N. Saunderson, Maria Barnes & Mary Ann. We found Every one ready and glad to contribute towards the flag. We have confined (Mrs. Farnsworth has a little girl!) ourselves to the wives of the officers and the family (Maria B. comes in as one of the family) thinking that we Should offend Some if we did not call upon all of the privates wives or friends.[78] I think that we Shall Succeed in getting as nice a flag as you desire. Have had a very pleasant Evening. I took Baby out for the air, and called at M's to talk about the flag. She insisted upon my Stopping to dinner, Saying that She had cooked a great dinner Expecting Aunt Dolly and that She hadn't come and I Should Stay and Eat Aunt D's Share. She proposed that we Should make our own Solicitations instead of Sending Ella. So consequently this tramp. Shall call tomorrow upon Mrs. Merritt & Mrs. Tapley. I have concluded to Stop until Monday morning, as Mother will go to Somerville tomorrow Expecting to bring Aunt Adams home with her and She wishes very much that She Aunt A. Should See the baby. Shall return in the morning that I may get your letter. – was delighted when I got back from M's to find a note from you and that you spent the waiting hour So pleasantly. What did Sinclair Say? Didn't he offer to change places with you? He having no wife and baby Should have done So. It is after 10 oc'k. Baby Says, Mama, you Shant Sleep in the morning after 5 o'clock. So I must to bed. Oh if I could only know just where and how you are tonight – could only be with you wherever it is, be folded in your dear Strong arms, how happy Should I be! but I must again read my Psalm alone, and pray that God would bless my dear husband, give his angels charge over him to keep him in all his ways. Oh my dear darling husband I love love you, and kiss you again and again. Fri. morn'g.– A bright beautiful morning. Am Expecting M. Boyce to go with me to make a few more calls. thought perhaps we might have old Philip, but Fred has gone to Somerville with Mother So no one to tackle, therefore the horse car. More tonight. Goodbye till then. from Your Ever loving and true wife. Hannah Lucilla Sends love     Camp Essex. Md June 14th (1861) My own dear wife It is late but I want this letter to go in the morning and so trespass a little on this hour of sleep for a chat with my darling. I have been very busy all day. A house near the camp has been engaged for a hospital, and this mng I went over to look on it.  It is very pleasantly located in the middle of a grove and seems to me like a healthy place. Dr Smith as my senior has been appointed Post Surgeon with general charge of the hospital, but I had a very plain talk with Col Jones this morning telling him what Dr Smith had done to me already – that I was perfectly willing to accord to him all the deference due to age and the fact that his commission was about 6 days older than mine, but that any violation of professional courtesy as infringement on my rights would be resisted.[79] He promised that everything should be made agreeable if possible. I think he will do all in his power to have things move quickly. He has too many enemies now to afford to make more. With the exception of this change things remain precisely as when I left. We have been flooring our hut today and cleaning up. I have stowed all our bottles and medicine into the trunk which I brought on with me and now the tent looks clean and neat. Col Hinks was not very well today and spent it with his wife. I went over there for an hour and had a pleasant call.  He feels hurt at the manner in wh the Gov is filling up all the appointments at home and has applied for the position which he resigned. He has not received an answer yet. He ought to have a regiment to the exclusion of some of the fourth rate politicians who have received them. Several men have been here of influence at home and they all expressed indignation at the way in which we are treated – proved men supplanted by beardless boys with aristocratic names as antecedents. Six weeks soon slips away however and the accounts can be settled. I am writing with your picture open before me. If it could only speak! or I could hold you in my arms tonight. There are times when the outside world seems dark and the prospect clouded but so long as the inner world of our united lives is bright, can we not my precious one meet life trustfully, leaving ourselves in the hands of the Good Father? To his kind watch I commend you this night with our little one.  May God watch over, keep and bless you my darling is the prayer of your loving husband. Bowman     Camp Essex Md. June 15th (1861) My own precious wife This has been a very hot day. over 100 [degrees]. I have kept quiet however and as cool as possible. I am getting quite into the Southern custom of a siesta after din[n]er, disregarding all my old prejudices against sleeping in my clothes. etc. It was a curious sight this afternoon to see the men lying around in the grove. in all sorts of costumes. and positions seeking coolness where coolness there was none. I have been called today to see two old women who were sick! Poor whites. I took pay from one by using one of her rooms to enjoy the luxury of a good bath. About 5 I went over to our new hospital to arrange the rooms. This evening has been a lively one. The men from the two regiments have been indulging themselves in all sorts of sports. parading around with an elephant. They had also a giant parade. A dozen stout men carried others on their shoulders. The riders wearing a blanket which covered the head of the bearer. Even in the moonlight they looked like soldiers. ten feet high. Thus arranged they went through the drill. After parading for awhile they all went to the Col quarters. and cheered him. He spoke in reply and made a fine speech. Col Elwell was then called for who excused himself from making a speech by introducing your husband. who happening to feel in the mood gave them a little talk which was very kindly received. I told them about the operation for the transfusion of blood in which blood is taken from the arm of a strong man and injected into that of the patient comparing this to the blood shed in Baltimore rousing the life and vital energies of the nation … and backed into the tent.[80] I received your precious letter this morning. It was very kind of the doctor to carry you to ride Few know except those intimate with him what a big heart fills the doctors breast. Oh my own true wife if I could only fold you in my arms to night have one long look into your eyes and if there was any of sorrow or trial there to comfort you as I know I can I should be happy. I am glad to think that you are in Danvers tonight. I feel more comfortable, surer that you are in good spirits when I know you are there with our good father or our mothers and sisters. I have perhaps never told you how much I love them all but you have seen it. God bless you this night my own dear wife. comfort you and keep you and our little one for the arms, love and life of your own Bowman     Sat. June 15th (1861) My darling husband, I can hardly believe my Eyes. It is nearly 11 o'k. Last Evening after meeting we went to Chapin's to help give Fannie a birthday Surprise. I went not because I felt that I Should Enjoy it but because I knew that you would like to have, but oh Bowman it was hard to keep back the tears, although I know that I Seemed very cheerful. They all tell me that I “Seem like a different woman.” Your visit has indeed done me more good than I can tell, but I want you all the time. It does not Seem like living while you are away. Your letter in the Reporter I have read and I doubt not that it will be read with a great deal of interest and will draw tears from many Eyes besides those of your wife. It is a comfort always to know that we have Sympathy, and that our Sufferings are appreciated. I am dreading very much to Stay here over the Sabbath. I Should very much rather have gone to Danvers but although Aunt Adams has not come and is not Expected until Wed., yet the flag business is hardly Settled up and I do not like to leave until it is. It is So hard to have you away on the Sabbath. I miss you So much in going to church. The papers tell me that there are quantities of flowers about the camp. A Specimen now and then I Should be So glad to receive from my darling. Baby must be attended to. They Succeeded in getting a Splendid likeness of him yesterday. Little fellow Six months old today. Do not like to Send So Shabby a little note but must Stop. Oh! God bless you my dear dear husband. Oh for your arms. Your loving wife     Camp Essex Md June 16th (1861) My very dear wife. While we were out at morning parade a little shower came up which cooled the air so that we have had a most delightful day. I was busy at the hospital till noon. After dinner I slept an hour and then dressed for service which was conducted by a minister from Washington and certainly was duller than Mr Clarks feeblest Efforts. Two lieutenants from Fort McHenry took tea with us Martial law is to be proclaimed tomorrow in Baltimore. This supersedes the civil law. All crimes are tried by court martial. No one is allowed in the streets after a certain hour of the Evening without a pass. I do not anticipate any trouble as the cause of this arrangement but affairs have been managed poorly by Cadwallader and Banks is introducing stricter rules.[81] You will be glad to know that the rebels have abandoned Harpers Ferry. This may cause some change in our position but I do not anticipate any. I think we shall be kept here till we are ordered home. I forgot to tell you yesterday about Bartie Hinks. He wears a full suit made in Baltimore of blue flannel with stripes on the pants shoulder straps. belt and a little tin sword. Yesterday at morning parade Major Poore proposed that he be elected Corporal of the regiment which was received with three cheers. He feels quite proud of his position. and tonight when his mother undressed him asked him weather corporals kissed their mothers when they went to bed. It is proposed to celebrate the 17th by a salute in the morning an Extra good dinner and to have a band to play for us in the Evening. Mrs Hinks and Mrs Devereux leave tomorrow or Early this week. Don't you think that you Enjoyed my visit home more than you would have coming out here with all the fatigue of travelling, and the change of climate for the baby. I long to see you as much as Ever, but those few days of bliss will make the time fly faster which shall unite us. I received this morning yours of the 14th. You write much more cheerfull than before you saw me. God bless us both in this separation comfort us. and guide us in all our ways. Monday 17th It rained last night and this morning is raw and cold. The men are just firing the morning salute which Echoes grandly among these hills. There is some prospect of a visit from Gen Banks to day. We are called to breakfast so good bye till night. I love you and kiss you Bowman     Sabbath morn June 16th (1861) My own dear husband, I am Sitting at the window in our room overlooking the garden. Baby asleep in his crib, the rest of the family Scattered about generally. Frank writing you in your office. Have Spent most of the time while they were at church out under a tree in the back yard with the baby – prospect of a thunder Shower drove me in, but we have only had a thunder. I hoped that we might have a little rain to lay the dust, and cool the air – it is intensely hot. We call it hot, but I wish that I could know that it is as cool in Baltimore as here. I am afraid that you will Suffer very much from the heat, and that it may induce Sickness among the Soldiers. Men generally are So imprudent, in regard to diet and Exposure. I have been thinking, thinking, thinking of you all the forenoon. You are never out of my mind for a moment Except when I am asleep. My prayer for you continually is that God would bless and prosper you, give his angels charge over you to keep you in all your ways, and that he may Speedily unite us never again to be Separated. Oh may the time Soon come when in Somehome we may live in Each others arms. This is not living! Sun. Eve'g. At this time a week Since we were Sitting on the sofa in the parlor. I, oh So happy, in your arms. Oh Bowman, why this Separation. You told me that I must not be Sad when I thought of the possibility of your Enlisting for the war, but the fear will come, and the thought is almost agony. But I will trust in God. I will hope that he will Spare us this trial. The minister (Mr. Palmer of Salem) in his Sermon this afternoon Said that there was more Suffering from anticipated Sorrow than from actual, or rather from afflictions wh' we feared might come, than from those wh' we were actually called upon to bear. I think that there is a great deal of truth in the remark. Oh pray for your loving wife that She may be Enabled to leave all with Christ, to appreciate more fully the blessings Showered upon me, and to bear patiently the Sorrows wh' Each day brings. At times, tonight, this loneliness Seems almost insupportable. Oh for one hour with you, to feel your Strong and loving arms around me, for one kiss! But this cannot be, and we know that God has ordered all our ways. We know that he watches over us, Sees all our tears, and pitieth us, his children. Oh the joy in the knowledge of an Advocate with the Father, one who has been tempted, and acquainted with grief. Oh Bowman for more faith. Mon morn'g Mr Sewall has just been in and what do you Suppose was his Errand. Why to get me to play that organ. I told him that I Should about as Soon think of preaching for him. Well, he Said he would call upon me and take a vacation. We had a nice laugh over it all. … Give a great deal of love to Mrs Hinks. Tell her that I love her very much. Ask Bartie if he will take my love. Baby is dressed to go out therefore this horrid writing. Oh darling. God bless you. I love love you and think of you all the time.     Camp Essex Md June 17th (1861) My precious wife, This has been a long day. We were waked early this morning by the firing of the salutes. At half past nine the line was formed and we were marched about a mile to a large field where we were reviewed by General Morse of Mass who with his staff was here for a day or two.[82] We remained on the field till about 1. At three we were marched to the Relay House to salute the first Mass Reg on their way to Washington. This evening a band hired by the officers has been playing for the amusement of the men. The camp has been lively enough all day. Your note of the 15th was received this afternoon. I had a fine magnolia blossom which I intended to send to you but it was too long to put in a letter. They are abundant about here but soon fade. I feel very tired tonight after my tramp today I had to go down the hill to see a woman who was sick and I assure you it is no small job to climb this steep. You must excuse this line it will at least assure you of the love and continual remembrance of your true husband.  Kiss the baby for me and believe how much I love love love you. Bowman     Ellsworth Mon Evening, June 17th (1861) My own darling husband Once more at the old Farm. … Ira brought me your letter of the 13th this Evening. He came prepared to go over to Lynn if he had not found one here. So you See that I am likely to get your letters if Uncle Sam does his part faithfully. You Speak of confusion in the Reg't owing to the resignation of the Col. and other officers, and that the regiment has been Shabbily treated by the government. You then Say that “God only knows the future,” and the tone implies that you feel disappointed and Somewhat discouraged. Oh Bowman had you So far decided to remain, had you had the opportunity that it causes you unhappiness to feel that the Reg't may not be accepted? I know the prospect for you in Lynn is dark, that you cannot think of returning there without feeling that you must again Sit down and wearily wait day after day for [Something that] does not come. but oh Bowman can you not forgive me for feeling a little relieved at the thought on your acct that it may not be accepted? I cannot but hope and believe that God will open Some way by wh' you can gain an honest livelihood and we not be Separated. When Everything was dark the opportunity was unexpectedly offered of your going with the regt for three months. You feel that this although bitter has been the Separation, has been of great Service to you,  that you have gained many friends who will interest themselves in your future welfare. Let us hope that Even if you are disappointed in this that God has brighter things in Store for us. Oh may God guide and guard us, lead us in the right path. Good night darling with thousands of kisses from your loving wife and the Baby. Tues. morn'g. You Speak of playing with little Bartie Hinks, but that he cannot fill the place in your heart w'h our little darling has. Dear little fellow has just gone to Sleep to dream of his dear Papa. This is a Splendid June morning. I wish that I could know just how and where you are, what doing and what thinking. Oh darling, there is a loving wife, wearily waiting the time of your return. I cannot realize that it is less than a week Since you left. It Seems a month. … Oh my dear dear husband God bless you & Enable you to choose the right path. Do not be discouraged. We will pray for God's help in bearing all our trials. Your loving & true wife Hannah     Wed. Evn'g June 19th (1861) My own dear husband, I received your letters of the 16th & 17th today. Oh Bowman. I wish I could tell you how much good your letters are to me. Asenath brings them too, between 5 & 6 o'k, – just the time when I begin to miss you So much, and feel Sad and lonely. I wish that I could feel that mine comfort you as much. Oh darling there is a heart full of you, but the expression of it will not “run down my arms.” When I read over my letters, as I Sometimes find time to do, I am always Surprised that they contain So little Expressive of my love for you. They contain So little in comparison to what I feel. They oftentimes Seem to me actually cold. I wish that I could Show you my heart. Take the whole, and look at it! And So Mrs. Hinks and Mrs. Devereux are to return. How I Should love to See little Bartie in his corporal's uniform. I don't believe you've a finer looking officer in the regiment. (Excepting the surgeon.) His life at home in Boston St. will Seem very tame to him after these few weeks of Excitement. I think, however, that he will not doubt the propriety of kissing his Mother when he resumes his citizen's dress. It was indeed darling very much better that you Should come home rather than that I Should take Such a journey with the little one. I Should have been very much tried had you telegraphed for me. I Should have felt that I must go, but I know that all my friends would have looked upon it as presumption to take a babe there, – besides they could not have thought me able to take journey. All these things would have made me exceedingly unhappy and anxious, but I Sometimes tremble when I think what a letter may bring forth. Had there been any trouble in Baltimore, and you not been at your post of duty, I Should [have] felt wretchedly, but none of these things (unfortunate) happened So that I am “right glad” that I wrote it. Oh not dare to Say “I'll do it again.” I know that we both feel much happier. To be Sure the days begin to lengthen again. Six weeks from tonight looks no nearer than 7 weeks from last Wed night appeared, but oh I am So glad that you have been at home. I live it over and over and over again. Oh how I wish that I could kiss you! but the inevitable cannot. I wish that you could have Seen Baby this afternoon, when he was Sitting in a bed of white and red clover, just before the South door. With his white dress and blue ribbons Sitting up to his shoulders in the bed of flowers, he was a beautiful picture, and then there was the “red white and blue.” Do you See? He's a beautiful baby darling. God help us to watch over him tenderly and carefully and oh may he never forsake the fold of Christ. It is Striking 9 o'ck and I had determined to go to bed Early tonight, So good night my darling husband. May God watch over and bless us and our little one. Oh for your Strong and loving arms tonight! This Steel pen arrangement is a miserable Substitute. Thurs. mor'g. Shall go to Aunt Sarah, so that you can imagine me Straying about on the “Plain.” Oh if you could only be with me. Dear dear husband I cannot be happy away from you. Today and tomorrow are the longest days of the year. but all the days are long while you are away. Your loving wife, Hannah     Camp Essex MD June 20th (1861) My own dear wife. I have been very busy this morning finishing a letter to the Reporter which you will see next week. and it is now late but I could not sleep without my daily chat with my own dear wife. You don't know how much good your letter of the 18th received this evening did me. It was so brimful of love for me. faith in me. and trust in the good God to guide our steps. it told me so plainly that something of this dread aching pain had been lifted from your spirit that I blessed God for it. You speak of my feeling of disappointment at the prospective dismemberment of the Regiment. You perhaps can hardly realize the feeling of almost personal attachment which we have for the name and form of our regiment. or the pleasure that the announcement that our name and number was to be continued to us gave us here when read this morning. It is something like the feeling one cherishes towards the old homestead. or any place consecrated by the joys or sorrows of his life. If the old place should pass into other hands who should claim all the improvements on it as their doing. would it not be hard to bear? Just so wether connected or not with the regiment. I feel that I have done my share in earning its history. consequently my regret at the condition of things when I wrote happily changed since. This had little connection with my future prospects save that if no other opening presents itself than that I should go as Surgeon of a regiment I should like to be with old friends. I don't think Col Hinks will take his place in the army. but every thing is unsettled. Merritt has been for a long talk and consumed the major portion of the little time I had in which to write. He sends his respects and says if that urchin is old enough. tell him to kiss the looking glass for him. Things go on in about the accustomed way here. You will see in the paper my account of our flag raising etc. You must pardon this broken note. I am tired but could not sleep without telling you how much I love you and long for you. Hug baby for me God bless you darling. Love and a thousand kisses from Your devoted husband Bowman     Thurs. Evn'g June 20th (1861) My own dear husband I received yours of the 18th today. I might Say note as you Said of mine of the 15th – but Every word is precious. If it is only a line dont fail to Send it. Carrie Pope acts as penny post and I get them regularly Every day. Here are Asenath and Addie getting ready to go to bed. Asenath as a proprietary Exercise. is killing mosquitoes with a Slipper. I did not go to Aunt Sarah's as I Expected to day. Baby did not Seem quite well, and Pa Seemed to think that I had better wait until tomorrow. He Seems perfectly well tonight. I think that the medicine that I gave him might have caused him Some pain. His Stools did not look quite right, rather green. although Mother thought there was nothing very bad about them. Dr Perley advised me to put a little tincture of rhubarb with the Magnesia wh I did. Do you approve? Consequently the Extra trouble with him today.– I was glad I assure you to See Addie's good face coming in at the door. It has been very warm. and I was very tired. She came just in time to relieve me. He could not sit out of my lap one minute without finding a great deal of fault. Oh Bowman if you could be here tonight! It is lovely moon-light Evening. What would I not give to sit in your lap at one of these windows.– Mrs Newhall (George) told me that her husband had written to know if she would like to have him come home for a few days and She wrote him No. that She would rather he would not come until he came to Stay. I cannot but think that She would feel happier Even for a visit of a few days. but we are not all constituted alike. and She knows best. I live over and over again Every minute of your visit home. It was hard indeed to Say good bye. but I can look forward more hopefully. Everything does not look So dark as before. I am very much better than before I left Lynn. The baby does not tire me as much now as then. Oh may the time Soon come when we Shall be again united never to be Separated. God bless you my precious. precious husband.– watch over and protect you is the prayer of your loving wife. I must read alone the beautiful fifty first Psalm.[83] How many. many times I have read it.– How appropriate for the Sin-Sick one. Good night darling. Fri. morn'g – Another bright fine morning. Baby Seems perfectly well. Dear little fellow asleep in Spite of the noise on the roof Shingling. One word about your picture. Do you think it good. Such an Expression as you have on! I'm thankful that you had Some taken in Washington. Did those with whom you Exchanged consider this good. … Oh Bowman Bowman Bowman; if you could only be with me. I cannot bear this much longer. If I'll write Some Sad things will you get another furlough – darling Your loving wife Hannah     Camp Essex MD June 20th (1861) My own dear wife. I want you tonight [ ]a little genuine sympathy [ ] those disagreeable things [ ] occurred today which although one may know that he had done no wrong still makes him blue and uncomfortable. In brief some camp stools came this morning for the use of the hospital. My tent is crowded every mrn'g by men for advice. I thought I would like a couple of these stools and so brought them along. Dr Smith sent me this note. “Surgeon Breed. will return that camp stools to the Hospital immediately. N Smith Surg Post.” I considered the letter insulting [ ] it up letting the messenger [ ] his answer. This note was sent on an open sheet of paper by the hands of a private. I went to see him after dinner and asked him what he meant by sending me such a note. (Dr. Smith) said that my taking those stools was robbing the sick to [ ] provided for their use [ ] private benefit. that if [ ] not return them immediately he would have me arrested [ ] stealing. etc etc. He is a very [ ] man and abused his ephemeral position to treat me like a thief. To my reply that I wished them for the acomodation of the sick at my tent answered that it was no use to plead ignorance. that I knew better etc. You can imagine the sort of small minded vulgar man. For myself and with our regiment such abuse goes for nothing. but a story that I used the supplies of the sick for my private use will find mo[ ] believers. who will be glad [ ] any such story. This is [ ] make me blue and [ ] I could have your sympathy and kisses. These troubles vanish like smoke within the home circle of a wifes arms. It is [ ] thing for me to be called [ ]. but let this all pass [ ]ll soon be through with [ ] if ever I am to occupy [ ] post again it shall [ ] the regular service where [ ]ghts are well defined. I [ ] almost sorry that I have written this to you. but I want you to tell me everything and confidence should be met by confidence. This affair will soon blow over. and I shall forget the whole thing. My boy did not arrive till last night and did not reach the camp till this evening. We received an order this evening that no more letters can be franked [ ] will be a hard thing [ ] many of these poor [ ] who have not a cent of money and will reduce our mail materially I presume however Congress will pass a law. giving the franking to an officer connected with [ ] regiment. The Colonel [ ] flag in Washington [ ] which was hoisted [ ] The regiment formed [ ] and saluted it with [ ] and then sang the Sta[r Spangled] Banner. We are still hav[ing] delightful weather though very warm. There are a great many cases of light diarrhea but they are easily controlled. I almost regret this letter now that it is written. I fear that this little matter will trouble you more than it has me. Dont think of it. All will come right God bless and keep you my precious wife comfort your loneliness. and hasten the good time that shall united us o[nce] more. Kiss the baby. With [ ] to all. Your Bowman     At Uncle Jasper's: Fri. Evn'g June 21st (1861) My own dear husband, I came this morning here – have just Succeeded in getting Baby to Sleep. (8.15!) He has Seemed perfectly well all day. was So wild tonight. that he couldn't go to Sleep at his usual time. … You Speak in your letters of the “East wind” at home. I do not like you to call it by that name. it is too harsh. I do not think that I Suffered because the wind blew Stronger, but because there was no loving husband's arms for a Shelter. I had all that I could bear in your absence and the lonelycare of the dear little one. I[t] did indeed Seem hard to have anything added, unnecessary. – but I think no harm was intended. You Speak of a home of our own. Oh Bowman if this could only be! Oh may God Speedily unite us, never again to be Separated. I think Sometimes that perhaps we Should be too happy. God knows what is best for us. He Seeks our good. although while “passing under the rod” we cannot always feel his love. I can but hope that we may Spend the Evening of the 2nd of Aug. together. I Suppose that Everything is uncertain. If there Should be a reception in N. York, I Suppose you would hardly be here on the 2nd Should you Start immediately on the Expiration of the term. I See by a letter from Camp Essex in the Boston Journal of the 20th that they (the 8th Regt) think of forming a N. England Zouave Regt. having Col. Hinks as commander. Captain Devereux is to have a furlough and Seek recruits in the N.E. States. Do you hear anything about it? It made me feel Sad in Spite of myself. I cannot, cannot feel reconciled to a longer Separation. – but I will try and leave the future, trusting all things with my Savior. – You Speak of that dreadful blunder of Gen. Pierce's.[84]It makes one feel heart-sick to read of these Sad failures on the part of our troops. Can it be that our officers as a general thing are insufficient as Soldiers. Oh this wicked wicked war. – Oh the distress and misery wh it has caused. How many hearts wring with anguish. – Could we know the aggregate! Could we bear it? I'm afraid that I am keeping Uncle and Aunt up. So good night my own dear husband. God bless and keep you. … Your loving and true wife Hannah     Camp Essex Md June 21st (1861) My precious wife This is one of those delightful moon light evenings when I feel as if I should love to have all those I love most about me, and sit quietly or talk with low voice of whatever the varying mood of the hour might suggest. I know well that you are sitting at the old home, thinking of me reviewing the past and the way our lives were united. There were sad weary years for you my darling and I know you will weep as you recall them, but looking back over them all, I bless God for them. Nothing else perchance would have taught me to value aright the wealth of love you have lavished upon me. It gives me supreme joy to feel tonight that you know that this love is in measure returned. Oh I do love you my darling. Around you and the little one that nestles in your bosom centers all the hope and joy of my life. It is for you I would labor and bear the pain of separation even if in the end I could secure to you the honor I seek. We bear an honored name and my ambition is to transmit it at least unsullied. Pray with me darling that as our lives have been ordered in the past so we may be guided by the kind hand of our Father and led in the right way. Your precious letter of the 19th came this afternoon. Let me answer its questions seriatum. I cannot understand how my letter was mailed at Baltimore. All my letters are sent in the same way. I have left my affair with Dr. Smith with the Colonel to do what he thinks proper. I hope it will drop.  I see very little of him and say less to him. It is decided and very properly that our regiment will not be accepted as at present organized but I have no doubt but Col. Hinks will have the opportunity on our return to reorganize the regiment for the war. The improvement in drill since we left home has been wonderful and so many competent observers have witnessed it that it is beginning to be appreciated at home. Col. Hinks has not received an army appointment yet but wishes one in case the regiment is mustered out of service. … God bless you my precious one fold you in his arms, and fill your heart with the comfort of his presence. I love, pray for and kiss you a thousand times Bowman     Camp Essex Md June 22d (1861) My own precious wife. We have another beautiful Evening after an Equally delightful day. Everything has gone smoothly and I feel in Excellent spirits. I have had two men quite sick. One of them is decidedly better and the other no worse. so that I feel Encouraged. It is perhaps too much to Expect but I should be happy if I could return to Mass without having lost a man by accident or disease. There are some men here with chronic diseases who never should have left home. and it is hard work to keep some of them along and make them comfortable. but my report has been a clean one so far and I hope it will continue so. Col Hinks has gone to Washington to day. will return tomorrow. I do not know his business. Major Poore is laid up at his home in Georgetown with a sprained foot so that our “mess” is very quiet. You will see by the Reporter next week that we have received a splendid flag from the lady friends of the NY 7th. It is proposed that the Essex Co ladies return the compliment. Your precious letter of the 20th came this afternoon. You say your letters are cold. I dont find this so. Every word breathes of the true confiding love of my dear wife. Every page shows the heart which you give to me. Precious treasure! God grant that I may wear it worthily. We are beginning to count the days and to anticipate the glad one of return by all sorts of speculations as to where we shall go and how, weather we shall go through New York or straight to Boston etc. You speak of my coming home. Your letters breath a differant tone now from what they did before I saw you. They are so much more cheerful and I assure you that I too feel differantly. We have seen one another and were happy and this happiness diffuses itself over the time of separation. How I should have Enjoyed seeing baby in his bower. the little one. I am afraid I make too much of an idol of that child. Let us pray for grace to do aright by him. I want to be with you and share the burden of this responsibility. This is a peerless gift which our kind Father has Entrusted to us. May it receive no wrong at our hands. Let us always pray that we may be led aright. God bless you my own true wife, comfort you in your loneliness and hasten the day that shall unite us. Kiss baby for papa. With love prayers, and a thousand kisses and kind remembrances to all our friends. Your loving husband Bowman     Sat. Evn'g June 22nd (1861) Oh Bowman my own dear dear husband. Yours of the 20th has [been]brought me not long Since, in wh' you tell me of the treatment received from Dr. Smith. Oh, I cannot bear this! That you Should be abused by Such as he, is too much! I could not help crying when I read of it. Oh if we could only live together. To know that you are unhappy and I cannot throw my arms around your neck, and do all I can to kiss it away. – It is hard, hard, harder Every day that we are Separated. I know that Such treatment from Such a person can be more Easily forgotten than the Same from one whom we have Esteemed, but it [is] So hard when one is away from those they love, and in doing the best they can do! – let the Source be what it may. Oh Bowman if I could only write as I feel! but I cannot! I can love, love, love, Sympathize and pray for you. Oh may God in heaven bless you my dear dear one, comfort and Sustain you, and bring us Speedily to Each other's arms. Sun'y P.M. It may Seem Strange to you that I am home from Church all day. Asenath came home at noon on purpose to Stay with Baby but I felt So lazy that I could not go. I was taken yesterday with my old trouble. I call it trouble because it does not Seem natural. It weakens me to Such an Extent that I feel hardly able to drag myself about this hot day. I Suppose that it is what I must Expect Every month, although it does not Seem as if it Should be So, at any rate to Such a degree. This, with the drain of nursing, makes me feel very miserably. Oh that I might feel your Strong and loving arms about me, that I might comfort you, as well as be comforted. You Speak in your last as if it were possible that you might get a Situation in the regular army, or rather if you remain longer it Shall be in the regular Service, but oh Such an afternoon as this makes it Seem So hard to think of being longer Separated. It is Selfish, I know, but oh forgive it in your loving wife who So longs for your comforting words. Remember you have made a child of me, and must Expect childishness, only however, when talking with my dear dear husband. Do not think that I am Sick. Am not. – but Sad, both for you and myself.– When I think what you have had to bear from Dr. Smith I cannot be reconciled. For you of whom Every one who knows you has Said “A kinder or finer heart never beat” (it's true) to be accused of robbing, yes Stealing from the Sick and Suffering, it is insufferably mean! Is there gentleman Enough about the individual to offer an apology after his temper cools? Has he apologized? Do Col. Hinks and other officers know of it? What do they Say? Oh do have as little as possible to do with him. Treat himpolitely. Show him that you know what decency is., and for the rest “be Still.” Sab. Eve'g.– It is late but I must have one word with my dear husband before I go to bed. Who do you Suppose has been to See me this afternoon? You cannot guess and I might as well tell you. Charles, Abbie and Nellie and George Jones. I was very glad indeed to See them. They asked me to report them to you and Send their love They Seemed very glad indeed to See me and Abbie told Pa that She missed me So much that She must come and See me. I tell you this because I know that it will be a comfort to you to know that I am So kindly regarded by them all. Oh Bowman you do not know, I cannot tell you how I miss and long to See you. If I could only be with you tonight, could be in your arms, – if you are unhappy, do all I can to kiss away your Sorrow, how happy Should I be. Oh Bowman must it be that we must be longer Separated? Oh this is Selfish. It must make you unhappy to know that I am So unreconciled to this Separation when it is So much to your advantage professionally. Oh my dear husband, God watch over and protect you, comfort you in all your Sorrows. Good night my darling. – Mon. morning. A bright morning. I have just written Mariannathat I Shall go D.V. on Fri. next. M writes to wish that B. could come too and Spend the night at any rate. God bless you. Baby is well and Sends kisses with his Mamma's to Papa.     Camp Essex Md. June 23rd (1861) My own dear wife, We have had another very hot day. with very little air. The flies which swarm here drive away all thought of sleep. All day long there is a running fight with flies. Evening continues the battle but with a change of combatants. The light attracts the insects and in a half hour one could stock a museum from the specimens which hover on the table, flit about the candle or poke themselves into your face. It is after 12 and I have been trying all the evening to write. I intended to have written a good long letter but there has been a stream of people all the evening and there has been most of the time so lively a discussion that I could not write. Your letter of the 21st came to day. I am sorry to hear that baby has been sick but do not feel anxious. These little ones are liable to such troubles. Your prescription was good, but get along with as little medicine as possible. You ask about my picture. I think it abominable. I was very hot when it was taken, nervous withall and Major Poore was cracking his jokes in the room, all which accounts for that insufferable grin. The pictures of the hut have not come yet, but are promised tomorrow. I am sorry to send such an apology but have no time to write more. Will send a long letter tomorrow. God bless you this night my precious one, guide you, comfort you and give you peace. I love you and kiss you a thousand times. Bowman     Camp Essex Md June 24th (1861) My own dear wife This has been a day of rumors. Yesterday the report was spread that we were to leave for home within a week. The report sprang from this Col Hinks went to Washington and received from Wilson Cameron etc the promise of raising a regiment in Massachusetts from the Eighth, adding recruits enough to fill the companies.[85] So that is settled. The regiment is to go for the war, but we are all coming home first, probably about the middle of July, from the 15th to the 18th. Many of the old officers will not return. Chandler and Merritt will probably command the two companies from Lynn.[86] The regiment will be thoroughly equipped, and furnished with every comfort. So you may see me sooner than we anticipated. I presume I should stand this last chance to be appointed Surgeon but I shall not decide in the matter till I have been home and we are both convinced that it is best. It would be for many reasons a very desirable place for me, but you and the baby draw closer than ever the home bonds, and if I can leave honorably and secure a decent living at home there shall be my place. I am tired of roaming. This war business is about the only thing that I had not seen, and after all my wanderings home and my dear wife can seem pleasanter than ever. But I must have business, a home and be able to live in some degree like those I have always associated with. We shall leave here within a few days probably for Fort McHenry in Baltimore Harbor where we shall remain till we start for home. Dont change the direction of your letters, till I write however. Such are the rumors which have made our camp buzz like a beehive today. Of one thing I think we may be certain we shall have a fortnight less to wait for each others arms and love. Isn't this almost equivalent to another visit home? I don't think you need to write another letter, do you? As to the future let us pray that we may be guided aright and that our way may be opened so plain before us that there may be no mistaking the guidance of our Father. Col Hinks saw Gen Banks today who told him that a Hospital would not be established at present. So that chance fades. Nonetheless I still feel confident that some way will be opened before us. Tapley would like to have me go into the druggist business with him, and thinks that with a moderate capital a good profit might be made but except as a silent partner it does not strike me very favorably. I haven't written this letter to give you the blues and set you to thinking. I do not meself. Here I cannot decide, and will not trouble myself about it because it would do no good. Dont get sad darling. Never despond. God who has blessed us in uniting us will lead us in the best way. Only let us daily seek his guidance trust each other and our interests in his hands. God bless! bless you my precious one. I love you more and more, and long for the day when I can fold you in my arms once more and comfort you. Kiss baby and accept the whole heart of your Bowman     Mon Ev'g June 24th (1861) My dear husband. I received yours of the 20th tonight in wh you speak of the flag raising. What do you mean? Have you received the flag from Lynn or is it one wh Hinks got in Washington? I am afraid when the ladies who contributed See your acct of a flag raising unless it is the flag from Lynn will think that Mary and I were round on a “fool's Errand”. I wish I understood it. It troubles me Somewhat. I Shall be very Sorry if we have done a thing wh may make them think you hasty. besides although all who contributed Seemed to do it with pleasure. yet I know that dollars are not very plenty. Did you tell Col. Hinks that you Expected the one from Lynn? Mary told the ladies upon whom we called that you Said that you Should tell the boys and they would be Expecting it. … I Saw your Speech to the members of the 6th alluded to in a letter from one of 6th in the Boston Journal … “Pertinent remarks of Dr Green Surgeon of the 8th” etc. You Speak of Merritt. Couldn't he leave to come home? You know that Mrs. Merritt told me that She Expected to be Sick as Soon as the 22nd. I do hope that he could come. Oh could I bear having you away from me at Such time. I pity oh I pity her So much if She cannot have her husband to comfort and Sustain her in that fearful Struggle. Oh Bowman how much I have and have had for wh. to be grateful to a heavenly Father. It is getting late again and Baby wakes SoEarly. It Seems Sometimes as if I had just got to Sleep. Oh my darling could I only be with you tonight. Oh how long Shall this last? God give his angels charge over us to keep us in all our ways. Oh how I long to See you! I Shant be “good” much longer. … My dear dear husband God bless you keep you. and unite us. never to be again Separated. Your loving wife.     Camp Essex Md June 25th (1861) My own dear wife In writing last night of certain proposed changes in the Lynn companies if the regiment was reorganized. I said that Chandler + Merritt would probably command the two Lynn companies. There is no certainty about any of these things. and you had better not mention anything I write home to you. as it might make trouble. Col Hinks expected to start for Boston tomorrow morning but his leave of absence has been cancelled by Gen Banks for what reason I do not know. There are rumors that Washington is again menaced but I do not credit them. It would certainly be good policy on the part of the rebels but I cannot conceive that they have the ability to execute any such plan. They cannot feed a large body of men in any one place. and must scatter their forces or starve. Many of these stories are for Buncombe, to frighten members of Congress. I wrote you that Capt Devereux would probably be Lieut Col under Hinks. I understand to day that he is to command one of the new regiments to be raised in Mass. Probably he will have the new one to be raised from Essex Co and Col Hinks the reorganized 8th. This question of reenlistment is coming nearer every day. but no definite settlement will be allowed till all have returned to Mass. The governor is very justly unwilling to permit any man to be enlisted where there is the slightest show of coercion. I wrote to Mr Baker to day. asking if there was any probability of my receiving an appointment at one of the State Alms Houses. If I can get that or some other appointment I shall certainly remain at home but it is idle to think of going to Lynn to sit down and fold my hands. Oh pray for me darling that God will guide our steps. and direct us in this crisis of our lives. I have thought till I can think no more and must wait the moving of events. … I am glad to know that baby is well. Darling! How I should love to fold him with his mama in my arms tonight. Oh I love love love! you my precious one. My home and my life is where you are. Let us pray together to be led. aright. Let us leave all our doubts and sorrows to the ear of him. who hears the feeblest prayers praying for faith faith and patience. I long for the day when I can fold you to my heart. and let you know how much I love. read your happiness in your eyes and feel the heart beat of my own true wife. I love you and kiss you Bowman     Tues. Afternoon June 25th (1861) My darling husband. While waiting for Pa who is to take me to the Plains, trunk all packed, dear little baby asleep, I think I will talk with the dear one of whom I am always thinking. It is one of those warm June afternoons wh' in the city are So oppressive but when in the country So delightful. I can hear nothing as I Sit here by the open window but the humming of the insects, the wind Sighing in the trees, and the Scratching of my pen. I do love the Stillness of the country. It is to me a truer life than the confused and Excited one of the city. but oh I want my dear dear husband. Pa is ready. Tues. Ev'g, at Mary's.– We called at the High-School house. got your precious letter of the 21st from my dear little penny-post. – It is true dear husband that while Staying at my old home, I have reviewed the past, have Shed many tears as I thought of the wearisome days and nights wh have been mine, but over and beyond all has been the gratitude for present joy. The joy of a loving husband and darling little one to draw us closer and closer. The little one is doing a great work. Is it not So? He has got Entirely over the cold he got in Lynn, his bowels are in good order. – he is as cunning as he can possibly be. I only wish that you could Enjoy with me his little ways. Oh Bowman this isn't life! … You Speak again of Mrs Hinks as Still being there or at Baltimore. Did you not write me that She was to leave before this? Oh could I only be with you, how happy, happy Should I be. I know darling that it is the aim of your life to provide a happy home for us where you may fold your dearest ones to your heart and Shield them from all Sorrows. Oh may God make me a worthy wife of So devoted a husband. Oh the bliss of wedded love. A love that grows day by day Stronger and purer. Alldistrust gradually but Surelymeltingaway before the intensity of this great love. Oh Bowman I never knew the meaning of the word happiness until folded in your Strong and loving arms. The clock is Striking ten. The rule for me here is Early to bed, both for Baby's and my own Sake. I feel So much better. Every way better Since you were at home. I am living upon your visit now. Two weeks from today! I look back and try to realize how long it will be. Oh it is long Even in the retrospect, but the prospect! Oh darling good night. god bless you, keep you, comfort and Sustain you.– Wed. June 26th Good morning darling. I kiss you as much as you want and more if you happen to be Smoking.–     Camp Essex Md June 26th (1861) My own dear wife. The camp is very lonesome tonight. All the sixth and half of our regiment have gone to Baltimore leaving about 400 to guard this place. Col Hinks went with them and I wanted to go very much and he at first ordered me to get ready. but as the whole of the sixth were ordered of course Dr Smith went with them and as neither of the assistants know any thing of surgery Col Elwell wished very much that I should stay behind in case of accident and Col Hinks revoked the order. so here I am. You cannot imagine how still and lonesome it is. Half of the camp which generally is brilliant as an illumination is dark. There is no singing or fun of any description which usually makes a camp merry till tattoo. Six out of the ten members of the Staff are away which leaves us a very lonely mess. I do not immagine that there is any immediate prospect of trouble which has caused this movement. They are throwing up additional defenses at Fort McHenry. and want some help. and the battle will be fought with spade and picks in place of guns or swords. They have only taken rations for two days so that their stay will not be a long one. We had a heavy squall and thunder shower this afternoon which has cooled the air and makes it very pleasant this evening. Just as I write the rain begins to patter again on the canvass. and the prospect is that we shall have a showery night. The weather is much like our Dog-days. when you feel hot and sticky all the time. I received your dear good letter of the 24th this evening. in which you sympathize so sweetly with me in regard to my treatment by N Smith Post Surgeon. I have had no direct dealing with him since except once. The next day he told me that he wished to visit my patients with me and arranged for an hour. We went. I asked all the questions I wished. ordered the medicine and gave my directions. without regarding him ignoring his presence completely. except once. when I showed him a patient and without telling him the disease. suggested that there was an interesting case for Auscultation which he might examine at leisure.[87] You know that I am naturally haughty, to strangers often disagreeably so and you may immagine … my look on this occasion. I know that the attendants some of whom knew the facts were vastly amused at the cool civility of the performance. He has not asked to see my patients since and I doubt extremely if he does. He has been all bows and smiles since but never has alluded to the subject. except by asking my steward whether their stools had been returned who told him that he would find the full complement. I shall if possible bring the “causus belli” home with me. as a memento of N Smith. Post Surgeon. Don't let this matter trouble you any more. as it certainly does not me. but dismiss it as the person himself will soon be to vulgar obscurity. This affair troubled me much at the time but I have dismissed the thought of it. I would suffer it every day if thereby I should receive letters so full of the whole heart of my dear wife as this. Oh! your letters do me good. They make the bright hour of each day. and I clock time from the receipt of one to the expected arrival of the next. Your love is the joy of my life. Your arms are my home. If I have made you as you say my child wife. God grant me strength to cherish and love you as you have me. It is a joy greater than I ever knew before to feel that my arms can always comfort you and that you have no sadness that I cannot alleviate. May God soon unite us to bless each other. I am very sorry to hear that you are again troubled with that discharge. I think you had better get some of those pills I ordered for Hattie and take 2 or 3 every day. with a glass of porter or ale. Dont neglect this please. You need some tonic to enable you to bear this double drain. Remember you promised to be fat and well when I got home again! God bless you this night my own dear Hannah! comfort bless quiet and keep us both in all our ways. Hug baby. a dozen times a day for papa. Remember me kindly to the E’ts and tell them that there is nothing I should enjoy more than hanging up my soldier clothes and lying at full length under some grand old tree. have a long sociable at their home. I mean to devote my first week at home to lying on the bed in a gay. festive. and airy costume and playing with the baby. and chatting with and kissing baby's mama. What do you think of that? Love kisses and the whole heart of your Bowman     Camp Essex Md June 27th (1861) My own dear wife. The regiment has not returned yet. They are encamped near Baltimore and will probably return tomorrow. You will have heard today the reason of this movement. Martial law has been proclaimed and the troops were moved there to be at hand in case of trouble. Everything is quiet and although many talk of “unnecessary movements calculated to make trouble etc” yet all opposition is wordy and not action. City Marshal Kane has been one of the most active conspirators in Maryland and will have an opportunity to think over his actions in prison if he receives no worse punishment.[88] Charges and rumors are still the order of the day. Usher has been absent two days in Washington and returns with a commission as Paymaster in the Army. This gives him a salary of about $2000. He will live in Washington and make journeys to the regiment wherever they may be to carry to them their pay. Lieut Austin of Salem will probably receive a similar appointment. Capt Devereux has a choice between a Captaincy in the regular army or a Colonelcy in one of the Mass regiments. He will probably accept the former. Major Poore will have one of the Mass regiments. Our staff runs in a fair way to be scattered. Please [do] not mention any of these things to any one. till you know them as fixed facts. Where do all these changes leave your dear husband? Out in the cold for the present at least. How I wish this question was settled. If I only knew what was best and what I could do I would have one aim and pursue that steadily. But this horrible uncertainty is wearing. Pray God darling that we may be led aright. that in this anxious hour of our lives the way of duty may be made plain before us. I received yrs of the 25th. You ask about the flag. I know nothing more about it than you. Col Hinks asked me to look out for a flag which I did as you know and I was as much surprised as you to see one in his hut one morning obtained from the government. I felt as badly as you. but can give no further explanation. The poles for the marchers flags came to day. but the flags are in a box confided to the tender mercies of Adams Express and the time of their arrival is wondrous uncertain. We are all in a complete state of uncertainty here. not knowing where we are going or when home. Every one says by the 15th perhaps sooner. perhaps home in the course of 10 days or a fortnight. and then to camp on the common in Boston or elsewhere till the end of the month. Anything that brings me soon to my dear wife. God bless you darling and guide you in all your ways. Kiss baby for papa and believe me always Your own true husband Bowman     June 27th (1861) Thurs. Ev'g My own dear husband I received your precious letter … Stating that you are coming in about three weeks. Oh oh oh! I cant wait! You cannot imagine how nervous I have felt Ever since reading the joyful news. I feel Somewhat as I did when I received the telegram Saying “Home tonight on business etc etc. I shall go to W. Newbury as I have written you, because your letters will go there. That of itself is Sufficient attraction. but my visit in Danvers after I return will be delightfully cut Short!– Mrs. Sleeper the wife of one of the 5th came in today. – whereupon I Screamed to Lue that my husband was coming home in three weeks. “Well” Said She James wrote me that he was coming before the 4th of July”. She afterwards told me that that was a rumor wh they had had in camp. but that they (the 5th) Expected to leave by the middle of July. How many glad hearts then! – I Should like to pull the bell rope. But oh how many hearts are already aching.– bursting with anguish, for the loved and lost. I have just been reading the article in the July number of the Atlantic written by Major Winthrop. Although So brilliant and witty. it made me heart-Sick. Do you know whether he was a married man? If not a wife to weep in anguish over his fate. doubtless there were others. near and dear to mourn for him. Perhaps an honored father and beloved Mother. Sisters and brothers. Friends. we know he must have had. Oh this wicked wicked war! Who Shall answer for its misery? Then it is Settled that the 8th Shall go back for the war? Oh I cannot I will not talk of it. Wait until you get home. There is Such a painful thrill whenever I think that you may feel called upon to go back! Oh may God guide and direct us. … Oh your letters are my living. The bread, butter and cocoa are for the baby. – dear little fellow! He is very well.– but mourns Papa's absence. He thinks him the handsomest man in the world.– “takes after his mother” in that aspect. It is wonderful how the tastes of the parent are transmitted to the child. Dont you think So? I have Spun along in this crazy kind of a way until I find I am near the End of the Sheet. – Do not dare Send but one (a la minute) Will he too return for the war? Oh his wife!– Oh my darling God watch over you and me and our little one this night. May we love our heavenly Father with Supreme love. Oh I Sometimes tremble when I remember it is written Of your idols I will cleanse you. God preserve us from all Sin. Make us pure and holy. Good night dearest. 3 more days in June. and then from 15 to 20 in July. then your loving arms.– Fri. mr'g All well. off for W. Newbury.–     Camp Essex Md June 28th (1861) My own dear wife. We are still here guarding the hill and waiting the return of the regiment. Another days rations were sent down to day so that they will not probably return before tomorrow afternoon. The arrest of City Marshal Kane was justified by the discovery this morning of 1500 stands of guns, some cannon and other implements of warfare. I hope he will be immediately hung. not because I wish him harm but for the reason that only vigorous measures can shorten this strife and thus save life. This seizure caused some excitement in the city. The union men are jubilant. I do not anticipate any trouble. Baltimore is and will continue to be quiet. The exact time of our return is still uncertain. by the middle of the month at all events and perhaps sooner. It depends a good deal on the condition of things about here. If all is quiet the regiment will be sent home sooner. I should not be surprised if we were placed in camp till our full term expires. In yours of the 26th received today you ask about Mrs Hinks. I do not know where she is now. She has been ready to start for home 3 or 4 times but the Colonel has not found any suitable escort. She with Mrs Devereux were here when the regiment left and both had a good cry. I was glad then that you had not come on here. We had only about an hours notice. Everything was in confusion and no one had time to look after a wife or attend to her comfort or safety. Mrs Hinks went into Baltimore yesterday with Gen + Mrs Devereux but weather she went home or not I cannot say. …[89][xxxii] You say “the little one is doing a great work – drawing us closer and closer together”. It is true. Did you ever feel happier than when we have bowed in prayer over the little one nestled in your bosom These little preachers are more eloquent than any spoken word. telling of that purity knowing no guile. that by pious faith trusting everything to loving hands that perfect helplessness stimulating the highest energies. Mama too does her share in the good work. “The maiden meek voice of the womanly wife Still bringeth the heavens nigher It rings like the voice of God oer my life Still bidding me mount up higher”[90] Oh Hannah my darling. God bless you for all you have done and are doing for me. for all the love you have lavished on me. for all the good influences with which you have surrounded me. Silken cords of love will lead when rods of iron could not drive. God help us thus to love each other, guide us in the care of this pledge of our love, unite us that folded in each others arms we may enjoy this summit of earthly bliss. this open hearted communion of wedded love. Good night my own precious one. I pray for you love you and kiss you a thousand times Bowman The flags came this morning and are pronounced very beautiful. They will be presented when the regiment returns.     W. Newbury. Sat mrn'g June 29 (1861) My dear darling husband. No letter last Evening! I begin to fear that Uncle Jasper forgot to put my letter of the 22nd into the office and that you do not know my whereabouts. Here I am in one of most beautiful of country places. An old farm house. covered completely overshadowed with noble old Elms. The largest of all was planted by Mrs. Everett's Grandfather when it had five leaves! It Sprouted the next year and had two branches but unfortunately (for the tree) his daughter “had a beau” wh. gentleman wishing a Switch to help his horse along broke off one of these branches. The Scar Still remains! All the Everett family were delighted to See us. and all I want to make me happy is my dear husband. Thomas is at home. He Says that he waved a newspaper at you while you were going down Broadway but could not get your Eye. He was disappointed in not getting a Situation Such as he desired in the Army. He wrote after the Surgeon of the 71st N.Y. Regt told him that it was just throwing his life away to go as private. to Gov. Andrew for the Situation of Quartermaster's clerk but did not Succeed in getting it. Lucy has just come into the room with the baby on her shoulder. and Says “Give my love to Bowman and tell him that if he were only here that I think we could convert him to a love of country life”. Baby is delighted with country life. He walks out of doors and round about with Such a Satisfied Expression. and then So many new things to look at. The inside of the Stage, red, yellow, blue, and “gold or brass or Something” all round and above was his Especial admiration. He had a genuine frolic all the way up from Newburyport. Oh Bowman if you were only here. could have [seen] the little fellow this morning. – in his little white clean Slip. and walk about with him under these royal old Elms! I would be content with looking out the window. I am counting the days. Certainly in 20 days from now we may Expect to be in Each others arms. God bless and keep you my own precious one. Oh for a kiss now!_ …

Excuse this hasty Scrawl. If you cannot read it you will lose but little. I'm afraid of not getting it into the morning's mail. Good bye darling. Baby Sends thousands of kisses. with his Mamas and “I wish you were heres”. God bless us and our little one and bring us together.

Your loving + true wife

 

 

Camp Essex Md

June 29th (1861)

My own dear wife

No regiment yet. You cannot conceive how dull this stillness is after all the noise excitement of a large camp. My life is very monotonous. A walk to the Hospital in the morning. the three meals (poor enough) are all that break the routine of “Dr I want a dose for this that or the other complaint.” The pleasantest hour of the day is that which brings about dusk your ever welcome letter. I have the vanity to suppose that you can judge my longings to receive yours by the joy which mine give. The touch of the hand in tracing the lines seems to leave a sort of electricity on the paper which pervades it always. Did you ever come upon the handwriting of some one long since gone and have the touch of the paper thrill you with a long forgotten sensation. I believe in sending kisses on paper. so you can send plenty of yours and the little one's. So too with any thing else touched or worn. Smell of this little flower worn at my buttonhole all day. and see “If any other rose” etc. There seems to be some influence in the personal of each one of us that individualizes each article of raiment and everything used. Take a hundred hats precisely alike. Let them be worn and each hat is changed in some mysterious way and become marked by its wearers stamp. so that we say it is such a one's hat. in a very different sense from that of proprietorship. Is there after all our discussion of “resoluable elements” some mysterious element in even our physical organization which is personal and eternal. I don't know what has led me off into this strain. I received this afternoon my pictures and send you one. It is a very good picture and if you take a magnifying glass you can get a good view of your widowers abiding place. Excuse the pipe. I did not wish to have it but the others insisted that it would look more natural. and so I smoked on.

This is my stopping place.

Home is where there's one to love me

Home is where there's one to love.

I long for the time to come when we can have our home and love one another with eyes voice and lip and not through the medium of these dull pens. Good night darling.

Sunday June 30th

This has been anything but a Sunday. There are so few here that we have had no services. It has rained nearly all day and we have been shut up in our tents fighting flies. which were driven into the tent by the rain. There is a story circulating in camp this evening to the effect that we are to start the 10th. Sen Wilson is in Baltimore to day to arrange for our going home and we shall probably soon know the truth unless some unexpected event should interfere. We are beginning to count the days now. Oh hasten round ye wheels and bring the welcome day. God bless you my own dear wife comfort and do you good. Kiss baby for me. and take as yours the whole heart and life of you own

Bowman